I am in law school and working full time. When I come home after a full day of work the last thing I want to do is crack open the books. Do you have any advice on how to get motivated to do something I don't want to?
I think you are overworked and under-rested. So what do you do? I think holding a full time job and going to school at the same time is a bit much. You should take a part time job or drop one of your subjects. The study of law is very demanding and if you want to be a good lawyer you have to give it the time. You can spend an extra term in law school and get the most out of it - as you should. Or try getting a part-time job that does not require heavy detail -maybe work in a card shop, a dress shop (and learn all about style) or a book store (interesting), etc.
When you get home, rest for a while - take a nice bath or shower. Then after you have had dinner you will have renewed energy and you can do justice to your law books and your job.
Good Luck - Let me know how you feel after you have tried my suggestions. I had the same problems when I was young and it worked out fine.
Which do you recommend, waxing or shaving?
Girl in Need
Dear Girl in Need,
That's quite a question. What part of your body needs waxing or shaving? If it is your underarms you should shave as often as you need it. It is very unsightly for a woman - young or old - to lift her arm and UGH. But if your hair is on your face, I would not suggest shaving. However, you should have it removed.
There are many qualified electrolysists around, perhaps even in the shop where you have your hair cut. Once you take the time to have that done, you will be hair free forever. Why don't you talk to your shop or look in the yellow pages. It is painless and you will thank me. I guess you could wax your legs or shave them and then decide which is easier for you to do -- but don't walk around with hairy legs. Do you have any other unsightly body hair, I would suggest you speak to your Dr. or beautician.
Good Luck -- BE BEAUTIFUL
I think your advice to David about buying a new pair of jeans [Tuesday, November 18] was the best! I've had clothes ruined by lipstick in the dryer and it just would not come out. Sometimes it's just more practical to buy new things... makes you forget about how silly you were to ruin the first pair in the first place!
Dear Ms. Practical,
I wonder if the person who asked about the jeans really bought a new pair and is he happy. There is something about a pair of new jeans that really presents the buyer with a challenge -- how to get them to develop the same kind of wrinkles the old ones had.
Have a good workout.
I am miserable with my job. Any advice on how to hang in there until I get another?
I'm sorry that you are not happy in your job. Can you afford to leave and still support yourself until you find what you are looking for? This is the most important question you must answer unless you have someone who will subsidise you until you are settled. What seems to be the problem - you don't tell me. Does your boss come on to you or is he just nasty or else? Have you had a talk with him? If you leave on your own will you be able to get unemployment -- that would give you some money to fall back on until you find a new job.
Are you a college grad and you want to find work in your field? These are all considerations that you must consider. If I can be of further help please answer some of my questions and we'll go from there.
Best of luck
My 5 month old baby won't sleep well at night! He wakes up every 20 minutes for the first two hours and then only sleeps about 3 hours at a time after that. What should I do? Help!
Sleepless in Seattle
Dear Sleepless in Seattle,
My, your baby doesn't like to sleep at night. Maybe you are giving him too many naps during the day - are you? Try giving him some warm milk before going to bed and at the same time turn on some sweet quiet music so he can relax. But first, has he had a complete check up by the Dr.? At five months he can't tell you what is bothering him but the Dr. can. Also, a little love, hugs, and kisses will put him in a good mood. Try turning him in a different position or perhaps he has a favorite toy? If the child is well and well fed and happy there is no reason for his not sleeping.
Try these suggestions and let me know how you made out. Good Luck.
I'm not sure if this guy I like is flirting with me, or is just touchy feely and does that with all the ladies. How can I know, and should I make the first move?
How many girls has this guy taken out? He could just be a ladies man but you can tell if he acts like a gentleman or like he is doing you a favor. Has he been to school or does he have a decent job where he would be rubbing elbows with pleasant guys. What does he sound like when he talks -- does he do a lot of bragging?
I'd say he loves himself. So be wary - don't let him get away with anything. If he sees you have his number and he really likes you he will act differently and if he is a wise guy you will see it right away and send him packing.
I somehow managed to wash my jeans with an old chewed up piece of gum, and discovered the gum stuck to the knee when I took them out of the washing machine. Always the quick thinker, I decided to freeze my jeans. Once frozen, I hit them with a hammer to try to crack the frozen gum off the jeans but to no availl. Any suggestions?
If the gum was stuck to the knee of your jeans for such a long time and then you put them in the freezer -- I would say the jeans owns them, not you -- Go out and get a new pair -- they'll fit better.
My mother-in-law lives far away and has to fly to visit us. She always schedules week-long visits and it's too long for us. We tried suggesting that she visit for a shorter time but she said her feelings were hurt so we told her we didn't mean it, that she can visit as long as she wants. I understand that she wants to see her grandkids, but she's driving us crazy. What do we do?
Visiting Mother in-laws is a tough one. However that should not be your concern. She is your husband's mother and he should discuss it with her. A week really isn't such a long time if she is a pleasant person to have in your house.
Also, since you have children she can spend most of her time with them. If the weather is nice your son could suggest that she take them to the park or the playground -- both she and the children will enjoy that. If the children go to school take her out to lunch and invite a friend or two along - especially if you know someone close to her age -- maybe a neighber. Then she could visit that person and would surely enjoy talking to someone in her age group.
In any case, if there is to be a discussion your husband should have the talk with her -- not you -- you are the ever loving daughter-in-law.
I have a question. Do you believe in long distance relationships?
Yes I do believe there can be a long distance relationship. I had one. I saw my boyfriend only once a month and then there was a time I saw him sometimes twice a month and each time it was for just a few hours. We were 350 miles apart and he didn't have a lot of money to keep coming to see me but the relationship did survive until we were married. It has to be a an honest and sincere feeling to survive and it did and wound up being a very successful marriage that lasted 55 years.
If you feel in your heart that it is sincere it will last. Good luck.
Help! The caulking in our shower has turned black! I've tried to remove it with everything from softscrub, to tilex, to bleach. Do you know any time-tested cleaning secrets, techniques or magic potions I can use to make that shower caulking white again?
Getting the caulking white again is a hard job. I am not sure what the best remedy is. A long time ago we had that problem and Jack decided that he was going to clean it up. He put on rubber gloves and mixed clorox and some water together, put a mask over his nose and mouth and started. I begged him to stop but he said he was going to fix it. Well the end was that the rubber gloves melted and he had to take them off, the skin on his hands got burned and he had to go to the doctor and it took 6 weeks for his hands to heal.
I would not recommend anyone to do that job except someone who is experienced in that sort of work . Look in the yellow pages for someone who can do it or maybe a plumber can recommend someone.
Certainly don't do it yourself.
Is there a secret recipe for keeping "the conversation" going between close friends after many, many, many years? I love my best friend dearly and don't want to run out of things to say or share...Any words of wisdom?
The Best Friend.
Dear Best Friend,
If you and your friend were close a long time ago and you meet now it will seem like you saw her just yesterday. The feeling you had for her is awakend and it's like you are continuing the discussion you had yesterday. Of course, you both may have husbands and families and there is a lot to say about both subjects. Be yourself and happy -- you can discuss your good times and maybe -- just a little of your bad times - but very little -- Just enjoy your visit and you'll talk about it to your present "best friend."
I remember when my sorority got together some time after we had all graduated. We had so much to talk about - I was married and they all remembered Jack and I remembered their boy friends at school -- we laughed about some - talked about the teachers we had and what we were involved in now. It was fun.
So have fun -- its nice to reminise with old friends.
My husband refuses to use a napkin. Even after he eats a meal with the messiest finger foods, his napkin is still completely clean at the end! Then he'll tell me he didn't need the napkin anyhow because his hands stayed clean the entire time. But Bubby, I know that's impossible. I can't figure out what he's doing with the mess. What should I do?
Mrs. A. Mess
Dear Mrs. A. Mess,
If your husband eats without a napkin and says he doesn't need one then you should serve his food on a sheet of plastic (as for a baby) without fork or spoon or knife and tell him if he eats like a slob he may as well go the whole way. When you go out remove the fork and spoon and give it to the waiter and tell him that your husband has no use for the impliments. And when he is looked upon by the other guests in the restaurant he will soon change I hope. Give it a try and if it doesn't work we'll do something a little more drastic.
The idea -- NO NAPKIN
I recently ended a long relationship that could have culminated in marriage. I knew I was making the right choice when I decided to go out on my own but now I am having trouble adjusting to my new life alone. I've been in a serious relationship for so long that I don't even know how to go on casual dinner date. What advice can you give me on how to start my new life?
Confused in Staten Island
Dear Young lady,
I know it is not easy to adjust to a new. Don't dwell on the past. Look to the future. Go to some interesting places like the Y where you will meet nice young men. Some youth groups have dances that should be interesting. Don't sit alone. Go to some affairs hosted by the colleges. You don't want to waste your time with just anybody and I can see that you are a bright young lady and you should meet some bright young men. Don't sell yourself short and don't dwell on the past. Look to the future and smile. If you ended a relationship after a long time you should have learned just what you want in a husband. So keep your eyes open and he will show up. Keep smiling. You have a lot to offer I can tell.
Good luck. Let me hear from you - I'm interested.
I work in a modern sweatshop that smells like a foot locker and our boss is so mean that he makes us cry. He himself has a very foul odor. Is there a good way to bring this up without getting fired?
Eyes-Watering in Indiana
Dear Eyes-Watering in Indiana,
What a place to work. However if you like the work you do you can leave hints around to clean the place up. Start by bringing in a spray like fresh air pine -- spray it around. Suggest to your boss that he ought to have a cleaning service . There must be a service like that in your building. When the weather is warm - keep a window open. Bring some plants in. Plants thrive on these odors - that's why farmers use horse droppings. Also tell your boss the office would look so much better if it had new furnishings.
Gently give it a try and let me know how you make out.
How should one choose a career? What if my skills and interests are not very practical?
First you must list all the things that interest you. What do you like to do and do well --there is always something. Do you like sports? music? painting? -- etc. Enroll in a course that you think you would like to try and give yourself a chance. Really work at it. There are specialists who work at helping people settle on a career. Go to see one. All of a sudden you will find something - try it. You would be surprised how many things you will find interesting. Let me know how you made out.
I am writing in response to your response to George Washington [Tues, Nov.4]. I am friends with George and have seen the dollar bill in question with the invitation on it. It is very nicely worded. I suspect this couple has been contacted one too many times by strangers about their party because they took their names out of the phone book! Should we find them and return the dollar bill so no one else will bother them? Their party is being held at a beach and we'd like some fun in the sun! Could this be an adventure?
Best, Martha Washington
Dear Martha: If you would like to have some fun in the sun you don't have to wait for a stranger to send you an invitation on the back of a dollar bill. Get your beach ball and some liquid refreshments and high tail it down to the beach. Give the dollar bill to charity then you will fulfill two mitzvahs -- fun in the sun and help to some poor person.
HAVE A GREAT TIME ♥, BUBBY
I am a person of refined taste, but I am on a limited budget. How can I add a little luxury to my humdrum existence without spending the cash?
You could develop some fine friends by spending some time in the library or at a museum. Mingle with well read and educated people. You will gradually enjoy spending time with them. Get a job in the field of your interests. You'll meet people and soon you will have friends.
Let me hear from you after about 6 months.
I received a dollar bill on which two people had written an invitation to their wedding. Do you think it would be foolish to attend an event advertised on a dollar bill? What could be the harm of turning up?
In your position I would be very careful whose invitation I would accept -- do you know the party giving the party or is it just a come-on by an enemy?? Watch out for accepting unknown gifts. Trouble could be the result -- I would say - keep the dollar - drop it into the Sunday collection box when you go to church -- you have the whole country - USA to think of.
Beware of these kind of gifts.
I don't like my co-workers in my office! What should I do?
If you don't like the people you work with why don't you review your position in the place of work. Are you doing anything that would create this animosity? I remember someone else had this problem also. She spoke to her fellow workers and this is what they had against her -- she was constantly cleaning her desk showing her superior how neat and clean she is. After this she stopped this activity and gained the friendship of her fellow workers. So have a chat with your fellow workers and if that does not help, get a new job.
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