Dear Bubby,
My husband refuses to use a napkin. Even after he eats a meal with the messiest finger foods, his napkin is still completely clean at the end! Then he'll tell me he didn't need the napkin anyhow because his hands stayed clean the entire time. But Bubby, I know that's impossible. I can't figure out what he's doing with the mess. What should I do?
Mrs. A. Mess
Dear Mrs. A. Mess,
If your husband eats without a napkin and says he doesn't need one then you should serve his food on a sheet of plastic (as for a baby) without fork or spoon or knife and tell him if he eats like a slob he may as well go the whole way. When you go out remove the fork and spoon and give it to the waiter and tell him that your husband has no use for the impliments. And when he is looked upon by the other guests in the restaurant he will soon change I hope. Give it a try and if it doesn't work we'll do something a little more drastic.
The idea -- NO NAPKIN
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