I wrote to you a few weeks ago about my break-up with the man I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with (we were together for five years). Since then, I've gone on a few dates, flirted with some new men, and tried to begin anew (I moved to NY from the West coast just three months ago). But every time I think I am truly starting to get over my ex, something reminds me of what we had, and I feel the loss all over again.
I have not spoken to my him in almost two months, and I feel his absence more than ever these days. It hurts, and yet something tells me that not talking has been the right thing for us. My question is, would it be a bad idea to call him over the holidays?
Still Confused in Staten Island
Dear Young Lady,
At this time calling this person is the worst thing you could do right now. I'm sure you must think about him but after all you spent 5 years with him and there must be a lot to remember. But as time passes his memory will vanish. Don't be uptight and think it is imperative that you connect again so soon -- things will change. You broke up because you were smart enough to know that if you married there would be one obstacles after another. Married life is a long time and you have to make sure of the right person.
I too had an experience when I was young. I felt devestated but we broke up. Out of the clear blue sky one night he called me -- about 30 years later. We talked - pleasantly - and when I hug up I said out loud to myself -- I'm so glad we broke up. Otherwise, I would never had met the man I married - whom I love dearly. Don't give up hope you will find each other.
Good hunting and the best of good luck.
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