Dear Bubby,
I am a freshman in college and I am still adjusting. I went to an all boys boarding school a few hours from my house so I have experienced living away from home before, but college is very different because it is much bigger and I cannot see the people I know best in the world regularly.
I miss being able to see my friends every day. It is different to only talk to them online or on the phone. It's not the kind of thing a college guy can say out loud easily either. Also I miss my parents and its hard to really talk to them when I can't see them or give them a hug.
Also it is difficult to relate to the girls here. I have met one that I can really talk to but we do not talk as often as we used to. In high school it was a different dynamic with much less pressure since we were in contact with girls much less frequently. Ideally I would like to find a romance, but I think it would be nice if I could just find a few real friends among them.
I have a hard time telling this to my parents or grandparents. My grandmother always tells me how she brags to her friends at the Temple about me. I don't want to shatter their illusions because for the most part I am happy, but I think I'd feel better and do better in school if I was a little happier.
What would you suggest?
Thanks, Matthew
Dear Matthew,
If you are in college it is time to grow up. Suppose you took a job in another city -- would you cry for your Mommy and Daddy and old friends? No - you would go out and find new ones. That is part of being away from home. You are on your own - to make your own decisions and judgments. You should discipline your time for your studies --- very important if you want to get somewhere in the field you are interested in.
And you should line up the extra activities the school offers. Go to parties -- if they are not your cup of tea, just make friends on campus. Remember that all the freshmen and sophomores are in the same boat. I too was at your age -- many miles from home, etc. But I knew if I didn't make my own way no one would do it for me.
It just takes a little time -- you'll see. Good luck in your classes and making new acquaintances.
♥, BUBBY
EMAIL this post...
0 OPINIONS ADDED
0 OPINIONS ADDED
"Help Me, Bubby!" Disclaimer
By submitting a letter to this website, you grant Help Me, Bubby! permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere
including print publications. Your letter will only include an anonymous signature that you provide or that we use to
substitute for your real name. Your email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of
letters received, there is no guarantee that a letter will be responded to. Any information or advice given at
Help Me, Bubby! is not intended to provide an alternative to professional medical treatment or to replace the advice
or services of a physician or psychiatrist. Neither Bubby nor her granddaughters are professional therapists or medical
experts. If you have any serious medical or mental problem, please consult a professional. Although all this advice is
offered lovingly from the heart and in good spirit, we are not responsible in any way for your decision to accept or
reject the advice or the results thereafter.
Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's
better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has 
Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her.
And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.
♥
Other Jewish Bloggers:
