Help Me, Bubby!

Other Bubby Books at Amazon:

Bubby Irma's Kitchen

Yiddish Your Bubbe Never Taught You

Poetry by Jewish Grandaughters

Bubbe & Gram

Bubbe's Kitchen

My Bubbe's Arms

Bubbie & Zeide's Favorite Language

Bennett and His Bubbe's Beau

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Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Want to know how to make a memorable seder?
Worried about surviving 8 days of matzah?
E-mail your Passover questions to Bubby this week...

Hi Bubby,

I'm a 25 year old UK guy working in a job I love. My girlfriend is a PhD student. We live at opposite ends of the country because of our different commitments and only see each other about every second weekend. We have plans to move in together. This will mean me giving up my job but only when I have found a new one near my girl.

I've just been posted to the US for five weeks with work. I had hoped that my girlfriend would come out and visit for a long weekend but she has decided against this. She feels the travel and the jet lag aren't worth the effort. I feel sad about this as it will be tough for me not see her for so long. Should I be worried about her commitment to the relationship?


Dear Cheers,
Your problem is about the same as mine was. Although it was not across the country or acrose the ocean, it was far enough that my boyfriend and I could not see each other often. But we did manage twice a month. He came to me once and I went to him once. And sometimes something came up and we didn't see one another for longer periods. But we did write and did call and remained true. This went on for about 3 years and then we got married. I left my job although I liked it very much. His seemed to be the more promising one and that was how we made our decisions. Never regretted it for a minute.

Hope this helps.
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Dear Bubby,

I've been having strange dreams and they keep haunting me! A few weeks back, I had a dream about a guy from church, whom I really never thought was my type. And yesterday, it was Matt Rogers. Yes, in all seriousness, the guy from American Idol! You'll probably say I watch too much TV, but the problem is I don't think very much of this guy either!

What really bugs me is that I'm happily in a relationship with a very sweet guy for over 5 years, and I don't understand why these dreams keep bugging me. They just keep lingering in my head. Does this mean I am missing this passion in my every day life? Should I go look for the passion in my dreams instead???

Sincerely, Lost In My Dreams

Dear Lost in your dreams,
If you are having a happy relationship with a person for five years and are satisfied - be happy. This Matt is only an image on the TV - he's on - he's off. Many people have dreams about people or events and when they wake up they will laugh or tell their friends about their kookie dream and have some fun with it. If you are happy with things the way they are - just enjoy!

Monday, March 29, 2004
Dear Bubby,

HELP! One of my co-workers is so stinky I can hardly stand it. It is not locker room BO. It is unbathed for days and really dirty clothing BO. She smells like a homeless person who can't bathe or launder clothing. I can not find answers to this. I tried to get my desk moved and can't. I also can not ask my boss to intervene because she, too, is another stinker! This is not just my problem. My good friend I work with confirms that they are both hygenically challenged.

Biohazard Defense

Dear Biohazard Defense,

At first I had to smile at your letter abut BO. I never thought people were still unaware of their physical conditions. But what to do about it? Get into a conversation about gettin up earlier each morning so that you can have a long hot shower each morning - how good it feels and then getting into nice clean garments. You might tell her what type of shampoo you use for your hair and the soap you use for your body. See what she says and then elaborate on the point of staying clean smelling when you work with people.

I do know that some people perspire profusely and they are always hunting for a remedy. I just read that there is a new pill on the market for just that purpose - to control perspiration. She could ask her druggist or doctor to recommend it. If she does all this she will no doubt be averse to wearing her smelly clothes. As far as your boss is concerned - if you are familiar with her superior you might say something that could be passed along to her. I would be interested in the outcome - keep me informed.

Good luck.
Friday, March 26, 2004
Hi Bubby,

My partner and I both want to be parents soon, but our problem is over what language the children will speak. I am American and he is Dutch. We live in his country, the Netherlands. I speak fluent Dutch but his English is poor.

I was a linguistics major in college so I've always wanted to raise my children bilingual. I'd like them to speak Dutch and English, but my partner thinks Dutch is enough. He says he's afraid their English would become better than their Dutch, and then they would have problems living here. In my opinion that won't be an issue because they'll be attending Dutch school. I think he is secretly afraid he will feel left out if his children and partner can speak a language that he has not mastered.

While I can understand his feelings, I don't think it's fair that they grow up not knowing their mother's language. English is the most useful world language (and spoken very often in the Netherlands!). Also, when they reach 10-years-old, their school will start teaching English, and they will be ahead.

I know that being raised bilingual strengthens certain areas of the brain which normally aren't used. I absolutely hate the idea that they couldn't communicate with their grandparents back in the States. And simply, I want to be able to communicate with my kids in my first language.

I feel certain that I am 'in the right' in this situation, if such a position exists - but how do I convince my partner of that?

Between Two Worlds

Dear Between Two Worlds,

Your partner should take a course and learn to speak English as well as Dutch. The world is fast becoming a bilingual world. Why should he be left out? English is the universal language of most of the world. Every educated person in this world does speak English or is learning to speak it. The children will become bilingual whether he likes it or not because they will speak in the streets and in the schools and they will speak Dutch at home.

I can tell you that many years ago when my husband was growing up in Turkey, he became multilingual because his math teacher was German and he learned math in German -- his language teacher was French and he learned the arts in French and since his family was planning to migrate to the US he studied English with an English teacher. Later as an adult all those languages came in handy. It was what I liked most about him. So go ahead -- learn English -- that is the easiest and used all over the world.

Your children will love you for it.
Thursday, March 25, 2004
Dear Bubby,

I'm in High School and I've liked this one boy for about two years. The thing is, is that whenever we're around each other, alone, we don't really speak as much as we used to. My feelings have remained unchanged towards him. I still like him a lot. I'm starting to think that maybe he doesn't like me in that way, even though all of my other friends say that he always talks about me.

He's a Zen Buddhist, and I don't know if there are any guidelines to relationships and dating and stuff like that. I think I know that Buddhists are supposed to stop any behavior of the aforementioned sort but I would appreciate the help.

Thank You In Advance,
Ms. Lonleyheart

Dear Ms. Lonelyheart,

Young and so many problems. I don't really know much about the Buddhist religion but I think that he may be starting to think and he realizes that you must be coming on a little strong. I would suggest that you and this young man be just friends -- forget about "that other stuff". Girls mature a little sooner that boys and he is starting to feel a little in awe of you -- that means a little in fear of you. Just be friends -- and watch your distance. Find some other young boys and have high school fun. You are too young to get wrapped in just one boy.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Dear Bubby,

I am a graduate student who also works full-time. I am doing my Masters thesis (on blogs of all things!) and it is wearing me out. I feel so overwhelmed and worst of all, I feel like I have no idea what I am doing. My thesis advisor makes me feel like I am an idiot. But I know plenty of people with Master's degrees already and they don't seem much different than me. Any thoughts on how how I can feel less intimidated?

Worried Grad Student

Dear Worried Grad Student,
Why are you worried? Millions of students have done their thesis and they all survived and you will too. I know. Everything that you are going through, I already did. I did a lot of research and a lot of writing and I even thought of leaving school - I thought it was so tough. But I didn't because I wanted that diploma. That is what is necessary when you go out into the world.

No one cares about your thesis but you need it to get the job. My sister left school because she felt she didn't need it. Then came the time she was competing with others for a very good job and her interviewer told her - for this job you really need that piece of sheepskin.

If you didn't worry there would be something wrong. Believe me, you are very normal and you will make the grade and so will your friends if they are like you. I'm sure you have it in you.

My best.
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Dear Bubby,

I am about to graduate from school, and I have a dilemma. Nearly everyone I hold dear lives back on the east coast, but for me to have success in my field, I would need to stay out on the west coast. I'm nervous to leave all of these people behind, but I feel it's something I have to do. What are your thoughts?

Confused East-West Coaster

Dear Confused East-West Coaster,
After I graduated from college I also felt sorry to leave friends who were in the east and I was in the west. But before long I made friends and I have many of them to this day and from time to time I see the old ones. So look at the move as a new experience. Then I married and came to this city not knowing a soul. I got a map and each day I went exploring the city. It was great fun. Don't be afraid to make the change -- it really is exciting.

Good luck.
Monday, March 22, 2004
Dear Bubby,

Over the weekend my husband helped a close friend of mine, "Joan", set up her computer and get online. "Joan" is like a mother to me and I am very close to her.

My husband is a "do it for you first, then explain it to you at the end" type of guy. I told him to take it slow with her. We both agreed he would fix it for her first, then explain it to her at the end slowly.

But when he got there, she kept nagging him and telling him that "the book" says to do it differently. At one point he got huffy and told her that if she was so smart she could install it herself and he would leave. She backed off quick and they made a few jokes, but the tension in the room was as thick as butter can get.

But as soon as we got to work on Monday, she told everyone how my husband yelled at her. I feel like everyone will think I married a monster. She is also made it VERY known to everyone that she dislikes my husband. Joan has even talked openly in front of me to the other co workers about my hubby.

How can I nicely say that is not his normal side and to give him another chance. She is very hard headed. My husband has told me that he would offer to help her again, but he is afraid to offer his help now.

I am torn between a good friend and my husband. When she talks about him the way she does, it makes me feel bad. And the more that is said the worse I feel.

So confused!

Dear Lynn,
I think you should grow up -- torn between your husband and your friend? What friend? If she needed help and your husband offered to take care of her problem, she should be grateful. Next time -- let her call in someone and pay the price. You should speak to your friend and tell her that she has been ungrateful and that she owes you and your husband an apology. Then you will find out how good a friend she is. I would not spend much time with such a friend and I certainly would not discuss anything with her except Good Morning. Your husband seems like a really nice person ready to help anyone who needs help. Give him a big hug and be happy.
Friday, March 19, 2004
Dear Bubby,

I just turned 21 and I am in college. Over the past 5 years, I have had relationships with 3 different girls. Each one lasted over 1 year. I am currently in a relationship that has been going on 6 months. My problem is that I'm usually real excited to date a girl during the first month or so of the relationship, and then I hit a wall. It always seems to come to a head at about 6 months.

The relationship I am in right now seems to be there. I don't want to break my girlfriend's heart, but hitting this wall makes me think that she is not "the one." She notices it too, and "calls me out" on how I have changed and how I don't seem as excited about our relationship. I guess I am wondering if I have a problem. Each time I wanted to be with a girlfriend so badly in the beginning, but after 5 months I am just so complacent.

Did this ever happen to you and your husband? I just dont want to end up marrying only to become a couple that is boring. I want a relationship where the spark is always there. Does such a thing exist? If I have to break up with the girl because of this problem, what is the best way to let the girl down?

Thank you, JC

Dear JC,
In college and just 21 years old. I would say that you have yet to grow up. You will meet many more girls in school and after when you are out in the world. You don't have to think about marriage for a long time -- wait until you are at least 27 or 28. Then you will know what you would want in a wife. It may turn out to be one of the girls you now know or it could be another one. Don't think about it now -- just have fun with a lot of different girls.

As to the one you are seeing now and want to get away... just suggest to her that you should not see one another for a while. I am sure she will feel the same way. Then you can be friends without being enemies. College is a great place to meet people in your personal development and contacts for your future. I know, I've been there.

Good luck.
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Feature: "Bubby, You Helped!"
Months after they got her advice, our readers update Bubby on their lives.

What ever happened to... Sheena?
On January 19th, Bubby received a desperate email from Sheena, who wanted to know some good ol' fashion remedies for avoiding the flu this winter. Bubby had a hunch that she had probably avoided the worst of the flu season by this point, but advised her to stay bundled up, and avoid others with the sniffles. So, now that the crocuses are blooming in our backyards, we wanted to know: Did Sheena manage to escape the flu, or is she typing her update while exclaiming... ACHOO!

The update...
Hello Bubby!
I just thought you'd like to know that I have not (knock on wood) gotten the flu this year. I have been washing my hands a lot (especially after riding the subway) to keep the germs at bay. I've also been trying to dress warmly, and interestingly enough, I find it most difficult to stay warm when I am at work, not when I am outdoors. The sadistic people I work with insist on frigid temperatures all year round. My fingernails sometimes turn blue. But maybe that's a different gripe, for another email, some other time.

from, Sheena

Bubby re-responds...
Sheena: If you find that you have cold hands at work, why don't you request a heater in your office? I also have cold hands and asked for a heater and I got one right away. It stands right behind my chair and it helps a lot. Tell "the powers that be" that if your office were warm you could produce much more perfect work than you do with cold hands. Also try going to the bathroom to rinse your hands in the warm water. Hope all this will help. It worked for me.

Good luck
Dear Bubby,

I really need some advice that I think only a woman can give me.

I think I like this person but I'm not sure whether he likes me or not. We are friends so we do things together all the time. But it gets confusing whether he offers to help me because he regards it as a duty to help a friend or because he really wants to.

One time I needed to buy a camera and when I casually mentioned it to him he said that he could go with me to check it out. He did, and spent quite some time explaining the pros and cons of a camera we were looking at -- he's quite a photography buff.

We have lessons together and after that he waits for me and we walk together to the bus stop. I did want to ask him to join me for dinner at times when we end late, but he always seemed to have something after class so I never bring up that suggestion.

We have chatted online for ages before, deep into the night.

When I asked him about a trip he took, he started showing me all the photos he took and talked about it at some length until I had to go.

Are these signs indicative of something more than friendship? We have been quite good friends since about four months ago. Shouldn't he already have given some indication if he really likes me? Should I keep on hoping? Or what should I do? If only I could be sure I would be able to act more decisively. It's the uncertainty that bothers me the most.


Dear Delphine,
Where does this guy live? I think he is very nice. And after only four months I think you are pretty friendly. So give him time and take your time and don't give him up yet.

When you are together why don't you ask him about his family - sisters and brothers - does he get along with them - are they in school or do they go to work -- are any of them married? What does he plan to do with the rest of his life? Tell him of your plans - what you would like to do when this job is over.

Tell him: "Let's stop for coffee or tea or whatever as long as we are out." After he helped you with the camera you should have suggested that and with a laugh I would say, my treat this time! Try to make him feel that you are his habit and see what happens.

After a year - if it takes that long, you should be able to talk about more personal things. If things are not moving along just tell him outright that you would like to meet some other guys. Then if he is not interested that will give him a way out or he will say something like, I thought we were a team. Then you can find out what his intentions were in all this time. If it comes sooner, so be it. Look for a new friend.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Dear Bubby,
I met with a man that I had been chatting with on-line over the Internet. However, when I finally met him face to face, I felt a rush of repulsion go down my spine. He was perfectly nice to me, had good manners, and was even very intelligent. Yet I was not at all interested in him. I am a very sociable person, keep good company and I know that I'm a nice person.

I tried to be considerate of his feelings but I don't think he got any of my hints that I wasn't interested. I am left wondering -- am I a bad person for being repulsed by someone's looks? Obviously he had seemingly good qualities but man, I couldn't handle looking at his face.

Sincerely, Nice Person

Dear Sincerely Nice Person,
If this man did not appeal to you there is no reason for you to develop a friendship with him. All you have to do if you are not impressed with a person is be pleasant and make an excuse to leave if you are meeting him outside of your home. For a first meeting from the internet or anywhere else you should never invite a person to your home until you get to know that person better.

You have certain qualities in mind that you expect to find in a man so don't sell yourself short. The right one will come along. It is all part of the game. Just be alert.

Good luck
Monday, March 15, 2004
Dear Bubby,
Lately I've been feeling as though I hardly have any friends. I know I do, but some of the close friends that I have are making new friends, and I feel left out. I think it'd be a great idea if I started hanging out with other people too, but I'm a horrible conversationalist. I don't know how to start the conversation! I'm fine when others come up to me, but I have a hard time approaching other people.

Do you have any tips for me?? They'd really help a lot.

Sincerely, Left Out and Helpless

Dear Left Out and Helpless,
You must get out and mix with other people. Put your shyness in your pocket - smile and say hello when you go out -be it school or work. You must always be on the alert for new friends. That is how one grows...Do you belong to a club - a group at your place of worship? Meet these young people - say hello, smile, and say most anything that comes to your mind that will draw the attention to you. Talk about the weather - about the place you are in at the moment - and one word leads to the next.

When your current friends see that you are mixing, they will soon come to join you. A true friend will never let you down. Go out and explore.

Good luck.
Friday, March 12, 2004
Dear Bubby,
I work as a software engineer and have a good job, but the work is unfulfilling to me and my soul feels empty. I feel like I am just going through the motions and sleepwalking through life towards the grave. Part of me would love to chuck it all and be a musician, but I am afraid of poverty and failure. How can I lead a full, meaningful life without fear or regrets?

Thanks, Stuck

Dear Stuck,
There is no such thing as living your life without fear or regrets. They are part of growing up - maturing and living. Without these feelings you would soon be a very dull person. So get intersted in something. You say you are in a profession that evidently pays you well since you refer to living in poverty if you leave it. I would say I doubt that you would live in poverty.

Get interested in the world around you. It is so big - vast and diversified not only in your profession but also in the world and people around you. My professor in college always said that only 5% of the graduates remain in the professions they were trained. The rest find other avenues in life.

Don't be afraid. Sometimes it's dark before the storm and when the light comes you will appreciate it more. I know - I've been there !!

Take a chance and good luck.
Thursday, March 11, 2004
Dear Bubby,
I found a group of friends a couple of years ago, and they all share my interests. I know them all pretty well now, except one girl who is kind of shy. She doesn't talk to me a lot, but the rest of my friends tell me that she admires me -- I have no idea why though. She does copy me a lot. Even though I give subtle hints for her to stop copying everything I do, she doesn't seem to understand them. I suppose imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but her copying me is getting very annoying.

I'm afraid that if I tell her how I feel, she and the rest of my friends won't like me anymore. I want to be friends with her, and I'm trying to, but she's making it hard. Please give me some advice on this. I'd really appreciate it.

Thank you, and keep up the good work.
With heart and a smile,

Dear Jane,
You and your friends should all mimic "the other girl" until she catches on as to what you are doing. Then you and maybe the others in your crowd should all sit down to lunch with the "other girl" and tell her they don't like this mimicking. Ask her to join the group in your activities and then you all should start practicing being friends. I'm sure that this mimicking was only as sign of admiration.

Just have fun -- ALL OF YOU.
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Dear Bubby,
Currently I have a boyfriend who is 4 years younger than me. We've been doing very well until now. I have just graduated from college but he just started his bachelors degree. But I have to admit I think he's even more mature than me! All my friends told me that this relationship won't last long because of our age difference. So I wanted to ask you, does age difference really matter in a relationship?

Thank you very much for your answer,
Confused Girl

Dear Confused Girl,
It is difficult to define age. As you say this young man is a freshman now and seems very mature. More mature than you?? I doubt that.

By being in college he will be meeting other girls and how will you feel when you see him with a girl his age or younger? You will feel much older than you are. I have seen a year or two difference either way and that is on an even keel but I personally would like a young man a few years older than me. I would feel that he would be looking out for me - not me for him. However, I do know age differences really depend on the ones involved. Why don't you try to see some older boys and decided. If nothing develops you will at least have fun.

Good hunting.
Monday, March 8, 2004
Feature: "Bubby, You Helped!"
Months after they got her advice, our readers update Bubby on their lives.

What ever happened to... Scared of Confetti?
On January 30th, Bubby received a touching letter from “Scared of Confetti” - a man about to be married. Though he adored his wife-to-be and knew he was making the right decision, he felt growing anxiety as the big day approached. Bubby let him know that she too felt that way on her wedding day 50 years ago. She said, “Marriage is a giant step… Consider this a step through a tunnel but the sun is shining on the other side.” She assured him all would be well, and asked that he contact her again in two years to let her know how things were working out. Well… we couldn’t wait that long. A month has passed and we wanted to know: Is “Confetti” finally sportin’ a honeymoon smile… or did his fear keep him from walking down that aisle?

The update...
Dear Bubby,
I just returned from a fantastic 10 day honeymoon in beautiful Hawaii that was fun, relaxing, intimate and so enjoyable. The wedding day came and I found myself at total peace, with no nerves to speak of. I cried when my bride walked down the aisle - she was a radiant picture of beauty personified and any nerves or apprehension I had went out the window. Our wedding day was so much fun - we just wish it hadn't passed so quickly!

And so we look forward to the months and years ahead in anticipation of sharing our lives as husband and wife. We're happy, in love, and we know that this is without a shadow of a doubt the best thing that either of us have ever done!

With peace like a river,
No Longer Scared

Friday, March 5, 2004
Bubby's recipe for Hamentashen/Purim Cookies
Just in time for the holiday...

A few months ago a reader named Betty the Baker asked Bubby if she could share her recipe for delicious "Purim cookies", also known as Hamentashen. Bubby told her she would, but the recipe was out of reach at the time. So now, in honor of the holiday Purim this weekend, Bubby has dug out her special recipe to share with all of you.

The Recipe

2 1/2 cups flour
1/4 t. salt
1/2 t. baking powder
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup pareve margarine
1 egg-slightly beaten
1 tsp. vanilla

Pre-heat oven 375 degrees. Combine dry ingredients in a mixing bowl. Cut the margarine into small piece & cut into flour mixture until it looks like cornmeal. Mix well to form dough. (I use an electric mixer.) Chill several hours. (You can freeze for a later baking.)

Roll out dough 1/8" thick on a lightly floured board. You should have a clean place to roll out the dough - preferably a sheet made especially for rolling out dough. You can buy these in home cooking supplies stores. Also the cookie cutters. Keep a little dish with flour nearby when rolling out the dough to keep it from getting sticky. Just a sprinkle will do.

To form the hamentashen use a round cookie cutter no larger than 3". Cut dough into 3" circles. Place 1 tsp of filling towards the top of the circle. Fold over the flap directly above the filling; then fold over the flaps on either side of the filling sealing the corners on all 3 sides of the filling to form a triangle. Place on a greased cookie sheet. Bake 10-12 minutes till lightly browned.

The best filling to use are PRUNE BUTTER and APRICOT BUTTER or if you like you can use POPPY SEED MIXTURE. You should be able to buy all these things in a gourmet food shop.

Happy baking!
Thursday, March 4, 2004
Hi Bubby!

Well, here is my problem at school. I'm a popular kid and a lot of kids know me, and I hang out with the popular kids. I have another friend that is like a normal kid at school. The problem is that sometimes the popular kids make fun of my unpopular friend and they want me to join and make fun of him too!

I feel really feel bad about the unpopular friend. I have to chose between making fun of my unpopular friend and losing my friendship with him, or helping my unpopular friend and then losing my popularity.



Dear Leejcoolboy,
If your friends cannot be friends with this other friend then they are not friends to you or to the unpopular ones. They are very shallow and I think you should spend a little more time with this "unpopular". How would you feel in her place -not good I think and the same goes for your popular friends.

The "unpopular" may a be a little shy and she feels left out - what a feeling! Terrible. Show these popular friends that you can be friends with everybody and tell them that. In friendships there is an exchange of ideas and you can all learn from each other. Try it - you sound like a nice person and I think it will help you as you grow up and mature.

Nice hearing from you.
Wednesday, March 3, 2004
Dearest Bubby,

I am a veterinarian. I work in the emergency room of a specialty hospital on Long Island.

The nurses yell at me because I drink out of a 2-liter coke bottle which I refill over and over again. I've been using the same bottle for months. They tell me the bottle is collecting bacteria. I really don't care because I know that my gastrointestinal tract has lots of bacteria as it is. I keep the water refrigerated and rinse the bottle out every time I fill it. The nurses think I'm gross but I know I'm really just frugal.

In response to their concerns, I've cultured my water bottle and recovered some E. coli. Now I know that this is probably not some terrible pathogenic strain of E. coli that is likely to kill me and the nurses but they are all in shock.

"How can you still drink out of that?" they say. "It's teeming with bacteria."

It still doesn't bother me. I've always been a schlump, but now I feel guilty about being a schlump. Bubby, should I clean up my act? How do I do this? Am I wrong here?

Dr. Huntfresser (Oy Vet Zmeer!)

Dear Dr. Huntfresser,

I must tell you I worked hard today and when I read your problem I laughed and laughed. You must be the joker where you work. I think you should go ahead and drink whatever you want whenever you want. And only you will reap the results - good or bad. BUT you should be on your best behavior when you take out a girl -- or are you married? If so - I am sure she has the ammunition to correct what she wants to correct in you.

Don't worry about the girls in the lab.

Tuesday, March 2, 2004
Hello Bubby,
My girlfriend of nearly 3 years was expecting me to propose to her on Valentine's day. I didn't and now she is VERY unhappy with me and wants to break up. She thinks I'm not committed enough to her because I haven't asked her to marry me yet. But in reality, I want to ask her! I've just had financial difficulties and want to pay off my debt and then save some money before I ask her. What should I do?

Thank you,
An Engaging Fellow

Dear An Engaging Fellow,
You are a very foolish young man. If you really love this girl and want to marry her - by all means marry her or you will lose her. Together you will be able to pay off your debts (are they from your education???) In time these debts will be gone and you will still have your love and maybe even a family of your own which is greater than all the money in the world. I know -- I've been there.

This girl must really love you or she would not have spent 3 of her young years with you. I say think -- if you really love her -- marry her. If you are just satisfied with her knowing she is around -- stop wasting her time. Let her get on with her own life. I'd like to know the end of this story.

Best of luck.
Dear Bubby,
My first-and-ever girlfriend, who is an American, hasn't connected with me for more than 5 months.
Is it over?

From, Serkan (Ýzmir, Turkey)

Dear Serkan,
Absence makes the heart grow fonder for someone else and that may be what happened to your with your girl friend. Still there is nothing wrong - in fact it is very nice that you write to her or call her to say Hello. Maybe she has been ill or thinks you don't care. It is always nice to look back and renew your friendship with the opposite sex.

Maybe she think of you too but is too shy to get in touch with you. I remember hearing from an old boyfriend who lived in California. After many years he called me. How he found out my address I will never know but it felt nice to hear from him. We exchanged our present life styles. He asked me to come out to California - but I would not do that at this time. But it was nice. Try giving it a try. You both will get a kick out of it.

Good Luck.

Dear Bubby,
I'm a nice 37 year-old Jewish guy. The problem is that I live in a university town in England. Everyone here seems to be either 18 or 60. How can I meet people my own age?

From, Brit-man (Durham, England)

Dear Brit-man,
Seek out a Jewish community in perhaps another town not too far away and join a club there. Try some activity at the school. A sport or a game of some kind - old people don't play sports much. Go to lectures where young people go. They are usually your age. How about taking a trip to London?

How did you get to this town? Why didn't you get some information about the people at the school? If you are studying for a Masters or PHD degree, you are only there for a short time and you should spend weekends visiting the country. That is a good way to meet people. You don't tell me much about yourself so I am just guessing about you. If you feel like it - write me more.

Good Luck

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Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.

Bald and oblivious
Denim diagnosis
Girls are weird
Halloween ideas
I smell him from here
I'm gonna marry you
How to meet a man
Nerds go far
Political predictions
Sloppy spouse
Tastes like chicken

Voted "Blog Of Note" on (2003)
4-star Review from The Weblog Review (1.5.04)
Voted "Blog Of The Day" by The Blog Hunter
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Featured in the Tampa Tribune online
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Bubby's first radio interview - 96.5 WOXL (5.4.04)
JewsWeek Jewriffic Award: "Best blog of the week" (6.6.04)
New York Times: Letter to the Editor (6.11.04)
Jerusalem Post: Feature article (7.2.04)
Interview for Akron, Ohio newspaper (aug.'04)
Golden Web Page Award (dec.'04)
Reader's Digest article, "Me Me Media" (july.'05) "Alternative Site of the Day" (aug.'05)
AARP Magazine article: July/August 2006 issue
Listed as "Cool Site Of The Day": (7.27.06)
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