Dear Bubby,
I just turned 21 and I am in college. Over the past 5 years, I have had relationships with 3 different girls. Each one lasted over 1 year. I am currently in a relationship that has been going on 6 months. My problem is that I'm usually real excited to date a girl during the first month or so of the relationship, and then I hit a wall. It always seems to come to a head at about 6 months.
The relationship I am in right now seems to be there. I don't want to break my girlfriend's heart, but hitting this wall makes me think that she is not "the one." She notices it too, and "calls me out" on how I have changed and how I don't seem as excited about our relationship. I guess I am wondering if I have a problem. Each time I wanted to be with a girlfriend so badly in the beginning, but after 5 months I am just so complacent.
Did this ever happen to you and your husband? I just dont want to end up marrying only to become a couple that is boring. I want a relationship where the spark is always there. Does such a thing exist? If I have to break up with the girl because of this problem, what is the best way to let the girl down?
Thank you, JC
Dear JC,
In college and just 21 years old. I would say that you have yet to grow up. You will meet many more girls in school and after when you are out in the world. You don't have to think about marriage for a long time -- wait until you are at least 27 or 28. Then you will know what you would want in a wife. It may turn out to be one of the girls you now know or it could be another one. Don't think about it now -- just have fun with a lot of different girls.
As to the one you are seeing now and want to get away... just suggest to her that you should not see one another for a while. I am sure she will feel the same way. Then you can be friends without being enemies. College is a great place to meet people in your personal development and contacts for your future. I know, I've been there.
Good luck.
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