Help Me, Bubby!

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Thursday, March 18, 2004
   
Dear Bubby,

I really need some advice that I think only a woman can give me.

I think I like this person but I'm not sure whether he likes me or not. We are friends so we do things together all the time. But it gets confusing whether he offers to help me because he regards it as a duty to help a friend or because he really wants to.

One time I needed to buy a camera and when I casually mentioned it to him he said that he could go with me to check it out. He did, and spent quite some time explaining the pros and cons of a camera we were looking at -- he's quite a photography buff.

We have lessons together and after that he waits for me and we walk together to the bus stop. I did want to ask him to join me for dinner at times when we end late, but he always seemed to have something after class so I never bring up that suggestion.

We have chatted online for ages before, deep into the night.

When I asked him about a trip he took, he started showing me all the photos he took and talked about it at some length until I had to go.

Are these signs indicative of something more than friendship? We have been quite good friends since about four months ago. Shouldn't he already have given some indication if he really likes me? Should I keep on hoping? Or what should I do? If only I could be sure I would be able to act more decisively. It's the uncertainty that bothers me the most.

Love,
Delphine



Dear Delphine,
Where does this guy live? I think he is very nice. And after only four months I think you are pretty friendly. So give him time and take your time and don't give him up yet.

When you are together why don't you ask him about his family - sisters and brothers - does he get along with them - are they in school or do they go to work -- are any of them married? What does he plan to do with the rest of his life? Tell him of your plans - what you would like to do when this job is over.

Tell him: "Let's stop for coffee or tea or whatever as long as we are out." After he helped you with the camera you should have suggested that and with a laugh I would say, my treat this time! Try to make him feel that you are his habit and see what happens.

After a year - if it takes that long, you should be able to talk about more personal things. If things are not moving along just tell him outright that you would like to meet some other guys. Then if he is not interested that will give him a way out or he will say something like, I thought we were a team. Then you can find out what his intentions were in all this time. If it comes sooner, so be it. Look for a new friend.

Love
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Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.


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