I am a veterinarian. I work in the emergency room of a specialty hospital on Long Island.
The nurses yell at me because I drink out of a 2-liter coke bottle which I refill over and over again. I've been using the same bottle for months. They tell me the bottle is collecting bacteria. I really don't care because I know that my gastrointestinal tract has lots of bacteria as it is. I keep the water refrigerated and rinse the bottle out every time I fill it. The nurses think I'm gross but I know I'm really just frugal.
In response to their concerns, I've cultured my water bottle and recovered some E. coli. Now I know that this is probably not some terrible pathogenic strain of E. coli that is likely to kill me and the nurses but they are all in shock.
"How can you still drink out of that?" they say. "It's teeming with bacteria."
It still doesn't bother me. I've always been a schlump, but now I feel guilty about being a schlump. Bubby, should I clean up my act? How do I do this? Am I wrong here?
Dr. Huntfresser (Oy Vet Zmeer!)
Dear Dr. Huntfresser,
I must tell you I worked hard today and when I read your problem I laughed and laughed. You must be the joker where you work. I think you should go ahead and drink whatever you want whenever you want. And only you will reap the results - good or bad. BUT you should be on your best behavior when you take out a girl -- or are you married? If so - I am sure she has the ammunition to correct what she wants to correct in you.
Don't worry about the girls in the lab.
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