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I have a dilemma. I want to tell a friend how I feel about him but I don't know if I should.
We have a wee bit of history together. We dated in college and again about 5 years later. Both times I broke it off. The second time was because I wanted to get married and he wasn’t moving fast enough for me so I married another guy. It did not turn out well. I have been divorced for about 5 years. Off and on I have thought about ‘him’ and finally made contact with him in January. He is not married and is unattached. He moved back to town after his father passed away in December and is trying to get things in order so that he can sell his boyhood home.
We have been seeing each other, as friends, for over a month now. Lots of laughs! We speak on the phone and see each other on the weekend. Sometimes he comes over and I cook then we watch a movie. Each time we have dated, I was the one who initiated the romance. He is very shy.
I guess my question is: Should I tell him how I feel and possibly ruin a good friendship? We speak about our old romances together often and in a good way. Or should I give him some more time to straighten things out and not complicate his life?
I feel very strongly about him but I don’t want to push but I don’t know how much longer I can wait, I want to know where this is going. Obviously, patience is not one of my virtues. He is the one I should have married 10 years ago.
Thank you for your help.
Some things never get easier.
Dear Some things never get easier,
Too bad that you wasted 10 years but I think that if you get too "pushy" you will lose this man. You might talk about your futures and you will find out from him what he plans to do in the future but I would not ask too many questions. Be his friend for now and see what it brings you. I know that you don't want to lose him so play it cool. Be sympathetic to his problems and discuss some of your own thoughts with him but don't talk about a relationship or marriage at this stage.
Do you have children? Did he ever have plans for marriage? It seems to me if you enjoy his company for now be satisfied.
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