Help Me, Bubby!

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Bubby Irma's Kitchen

Yiddish Your Bubbe Never Taught You

Poetry by Jewish Grandaughters

Bubbe & Gram

Bubbe's Kitchen

My Bubbe's Arms

Bubbie & Zeide's Favorite Language

Bennett and His Bubbe's Beau

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Monday, April 19, 2004
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Dear Bubby,

I am a 26 year old law student and I also work full time. I have a lot of responsibilities and I have handled them all fairly well and maturely. Until now...

This week in class we had to present oral arguments based on a paper we wrote. The 12-minute format is that you begin your argument and judges interject with questions. Tonight my class had a practice session. Since I did well on the paper and knew all the material, I figured my argument would fall into place.

But when I got up behind the podium I was stuttering, nervous and awkward. The judges asked me questions that I couldn't answer. I froze. Bubby, I totally absolutely froze like an icicle. Then I started melting and my eyes started tearing and before I knew it -- after several painful moments of silence and paper fumbling... I ran out of the classroom crying.

Bubby this is absurd! I'm a grown woman who is confident, intelligent and a perfectionist. But like a three year old I cried and ran away. Thank goodness this was just practice, but I still have to make my real argument on Sunday. I've started practicing by standing at a homemade podium made from my ironing board and watching myself in the mirror. But I just keep thinking that my glasses are crooked or my hair is messy or my lips are funny or people will think I'm stupid and ugly and shouldn't be in law school and then I'll have to live in a van down by the river and sell used cars.

In high school I was on debate teams and I was really good at it. But I seem to have lost it entirely. Bubby do you have any suggestions on how I can regain my confidence and self respect and not let one hard question send me running to my teddy bear?

Legal laughing stock.

Dear Legal Laughing Stock,
Cheer up. You must be at least the one millionth or more who had the same experience that you just described. When you lose a fight you get up, dust yourself off and get right into the fight again. And that is what you do in a fight or a law challenge. You should spend more time on preparation so that you can remember your arguments in your sleep.

BE PREPARED. Think of yourself in court as you are questioned -- be more than ready to answer. And that comes only by review, review, study and more review and study. Don't let your audience scare you -- you are up front and they are down there. They can't touch you. When you are the object that everyone is watching -- just make sure you are comfortably dressed and you are sure of your arguments. You are never over-prepared. Have confidence.

I'm sorry you left in such a state but remember it's only school and that is why you are there to iron out all your problems. I think being an attorney is a wonderful profession. It really gives you an insight in life. And you will be a success -- YOU'LL SEE--

Good luck.
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By submitting a letter to this website, you grant Help Me, Bubby! permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications. Your letter will only include an anonymous signature that you provide or that we use to substitute for your real name. Your email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a letter will be responded to. Any information or advice given at Help Me, Bubby! is not intended to provide an alternative to professional medical treatment or to replace the advice or services of a physician or psychiatrist. Neither Bubby nor her granddaughters are professional therapists or medical experts. If you have any serious medical or mental problem, please consult a professional. Although all this advice is offered lovingly from the heart and in good spirit, we are not responsible in any way for your decision to accept or reject the advice or the results thereafter.

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Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.

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