To my surprise, Miss Manners' book "On Painfully Proper Weddings" didn't cover this situation so perhaps you can help (and get a scoop on Miss Manners!)
My husband and I received a formal invitation for his cousin's wedding (engraved, not hand written). The bride and groom are planning the event themselves as far as we can tell from the invitation. However there was no "RSVP" nor response card or any other indication that the "favour of a reply is requested."
My husband and I are traveling from far away to attend this wedding (meaning hours of air travel) and I feel the need to tell them that we will be attending as a courtesy.
Should we send a handwritten response card in the formal tradition (Mr. and Mrs. B---- accept the kind invitation of...), or should we just tell the parents of the groom (my husband's aunt and uncle), or should we not say anything at all and just show up?
Thank you for your thoughts on this perplexing matter!
Dear Mrs. B,
Funny that you should ask about a wedding problem. It seems to me that this wedding will be rather informal so I think the acknowledgement should be the same. I would just write (not type) a note of thanks - and say you are looking forward to sharing their happy day. Dress informal. If you plan to stay over ask them to recommend some hotel or motel that is nearby.
I have gone to such a wedding and it was held in the backyard of the bride's home and we all had a great time.
Links to this post:
0 OPINIONS ADDED
"Help Me, Bubby!" Disclaimer
By submitting a letter to this website, you grant Help Me, Bubby! permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications. Your letter will only include an anonymous signature that you provide or that we use to substitute for your real name. Your email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a letter will be responded to. Any information or advice given at Help Me, Bubby! is not intended to provide an alternative to professional medical treatment or to replace the advice or services of a physician or psychiatrist. Neither Bubby nor her granddaughters are professional therapists or medical experts. If you have any serious medical or mental problem, please consult a professional. Although all this advice is offered lovingly from the heart and in good spirit, we are not responsible in any way for your decision to accept or reject the advice or the results thereafter.