Dear Bubby,
To my surprise, Miss Manners' book "On Painfully Proper Weddings" didn't cover this situation so perhaps you can help (and get a scoop on Miss Manners!)
My husband and I received a formal invitation for his cousin's wedding (engraved, not hand written). The bride and groom are planning the event themselves as far as we can tell from the invitation. However there was no "RSVP" nor response card or any other indication that the "favour of a reply is requested."
My husband and I are traveling from far away to attend this wedding (meaning hours of air travel) and I feel the need to tell them that we will be attending as a courtesy.
Should we send a handwritten response card in the formal tradition (Mr. and Mrs. B---- accept the kind invitation of...), or should we just tell the parents of the groom (my husband's aunt and uncle), or should we not say anything at all and just show up?
Thank you for your thoughts on this perplexing matter!
Sincerely,
Mrs. B
Dear Mrs. B,
Funny that you should ask about a wedding problem. It seems to me that this wedding will be rather informal so I think the acknowledgement should be the same. I would just write (not type) a note of thanks - and say you are looking forward to sharing their happy day. Dress informal. If you plan to stay over ask them to recommend some hotel or motel that is nearby.
I have gone to such a wedding and it was held in the backyard of the bride's home and we all had a great time.
Enjoy.
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