Dear Bubby,
Well, here's the situation. I have a friend at work, we were building up a pretty good friendship. Than all of a sudden a rumor went around work that we were dating. She and I talked about it and made a joke about it. She said: "Well, I am a little old for you and I am not your type, right?" I just shook my head yes.
Ever since then, she's been acting really weird. She always wanted to hang out, but now I have to initiate everything. And when I ask if she wants to hang out, she hesitates, but eventually does. In a group setting she doesn't want to hang out, because she's afraid of what people will say.
I am not sure if I should just back off and let her be, and let her initiate hanging out, or what? I am thinking about just letting her be for a week or so and see what happens. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Todd
Dear Todd,
If this girl is important to you then you should continue to "hang out" - maybe something will develop but if she is just another person who is nice to work with just be friendly and let it go at that. I think she may have feelings for you and is being coy by saying she is too old for you. To "hangout" does not require any special age.
Why don't you ask her to go for a walk and have a serious talk. Find out just what she is looking for by being friends. I have been very good friends with men working in my office but that was it - good friends - chatting - lunching sometimes but nothing else. And to this day they are good friends.
Maybe she feels that friendship in the office is "out of bounds". Be honest and speak up. Why just wonder? Get it straight.
Good Luck.
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