Help Me, Bubby!

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Tuesday, June 22, 2004
   
Dear Bubby,

I am getting married at the end of July to a wonderful man and I'm very excited. We have been together for several years and have been through all the obstacles that life has thrown us. We are buying a home together and are in the final stages of our wedding plans. I'm so looking forward to walking down the aisle and beginning our new life together.

But with all the joy surrounding our wedding I know I cannot shake the sadness that comes with it. My father passed away tragically and suddenly 5 and a half years ago. He was lost at sea and his body was never recovered. This was only a few months after my fiance and I had started dating. They never got to meet.

One of the first thoughts that came into my head when I found out about the accident was that he will never walk me down the aisle. Now that time is here. I will be walking down the aisle escorted by my mother and my older brother. It will be wonderful to have them with me as they both mean the world to me. But that's not the way it was supposed to be. I know that it has been a long time since I lost my dad. But lately, the closer we get to the wedding, the more I miss him.

I don't want to cry as I walk down the aisle. This is a happy time. But I can't let myself just forget about him and how I had dreamed of him being there to give me away, and to have the Father/Daughter Dance. I had always wanted to dance to an old song about a fisherman and his daughter.

Bubby, do you have any advice on how to heal my broken heart?
-The Fisherman's Daughter


Dear Fishman's Daughter,

My sympathy goes out to you. To loose your father and not even have a grave that you can visit from time to time is truly heart breaking. But as you said - life goes on and getting married is indeed a happy occasion.

But if I were you I would ask the rabbi (from your letter you sound Jewish - but no matter what religion) to say a prayer in his memory. You will feel that he is with you to watch over you, his little girl. I am sure the rabbi will oblige and it will also please your mother.

I wish you great joy and happiness in your new undertaking. From your words you sound like a wonderful young lady.

Mazel Tov.
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Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.


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New York Times: Letter to the Editor (6.11.04)
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