I need your advice on renewing a friendship. The person who used to be my best friend has recently broken up with his girlfriend. Unfortunately, she was extremely controlling and cut him off from many of his friends, including myself.
So over the last 3 years we have drifted apart. I stopped making an effort over a year ago because I was tired of dealing with her. He was never allowed to go out without her, she wouldn't let him talk on the phone with his friends, and she was rude (just a few examples).
I have been missing my best friend and I would like to renew our friendship, but I am unsure of how to go about it. I know that he could probably use a friend right now, but I don't want him to think badly about me either, because of this period of no contact.
What should my approach be and what should I do if he wants to know why I have kept away? The last thing I want to do is bad mouth his ex-girlfriend. Should I just wait and see if he comes to me?
My best friend means the world to me and I miss our friendship. I appreciate any advice you can give.
Dear Missing You,
You should not given up your friendship with this person if you thought so highly of him. And I can't understand why he kept up this other friendship if it was so intolerable.
Never the less, I think you should be honest - not say anything nasty about this other person. If you have some occasion, call him and ask him if he would like to be your escort. If you go to the same school, try to have lunch at the same time as he eats. Be friendly - don't ask him anything about this other person. If in the course of your get-to-gether - if he brings up the subject, just say you understand, but don't say anything that will upset him. If you play your cards right you will have won him back.
Try it - you will like it. You will be a better person and so will he.
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