Help Me, Bubby!

Other Bubby Books at Amazon:

Bubby Irma's Kitchen

Yiddish Your Bubbe Never Taught You

Poetry by Jewish Grandaughters

Bubbe & Gram

Bubbe's Kitchen

My Bubbe's Arms

Bubbie & Zeide's Favorite Language

Bennett and His Bubbe's Beau

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Thursday, June 10, 2004
Dear Bubby,

I need your advice on renewing a friendship. The person who used to be my best friend has recently broken up with his girlfriend. Unfortunately, she was extremely controlling and cut him off from many of his friends, including myself.

So over the last 3 years we have drifted apart. I stopped making an effort over a year ago because I was tired of dealing with her. He was never allowed to go out without her, she wouldn't let him talk on the phone with his friends, and she was rude (just a few examples).

I have been missing my best friend and I would like to renew our friendship, but I am unsure of how to go about it. I know that he could probably use a friend right now, but I don't want him to think badly about me either, because of this period of no contact.

What should my approach be and what should I do if he wants to know why I have kept away? The last thing I want to do is bad mouth his ex-girlfriend. Should I just wait and see if he comes to me?

My best friend means the world to me and I miss our friendship. I appreciate any advice you can give.

Missing You

Dear Missing You,

You should not given up your friendship with this person if you thought so highly of him. And I can't understand why he kept up this other friendship if it was so intolerable.

Never the less, I think you should be honest - not say anything nasty about this other person. If you have some occasion, call him and ask him if he would like to be your escort. If you go to the same school, try to have lunch at the same time as he eats. Be friendly - don't ask him anything about this other person. If in the course of your get-to-gether - if he brings up the subject, just say you understand, but don't say anything that will upset him. If you play your cards right you will have won him back.

Try it - you will like it. You will be a better person and so will he.

Good Luck.
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By submitting a letter to this website, you grant Help Me, Bubby! permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications. Your letter will only include an anonymous signature that you provide or that we use to substitute for your real name. Your email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a letter will be responded to. Any information or advice given at Help Me, Bubby! is not intended to provide an alternative to professional medical treatment or to replace the advice or services of a physician or psychiatrist. Neither Bubby nor her granddaughters are professional therapists or medical experts. If you have any serious medical or mental problem, please consult a professional. Although all this advice is offered lovingly from the heart and in good spirit, we are not responsible in any way for your decision to accept or reject the advice or the results thereafter.

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Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.

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4-star Review from The Weblog Review (1.5.04)
Voted "Blog Of The Day" by The Blog Hunter
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Bubby's first radio interview - 96.5 WOXL (5.4.04)
JewsWeek Jewriffic Award: "Best blog of the week" (6.6.04)
New York Times: Letter to the Editor (6.11.04)
Jerusalem Post: Feature article (7.2.04)
Interview for Akron, Ohio newspaper (aug.'04)
Golden Web Page Award (dec.'04)
Reader's Digest article, "Me Me Media" (july.'05) "Alternative Site of the Day" (aug.'05)
AARP Magazine article: July/August 2006 issue
Listed as "Cool Site Of The Day": (7.27.06)
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