Several months ago you gave advice to a young woman who asked whether it was better to pursue a "safe and secure" relationship or a "passionate and exciting" relationship. I followed your advice (it applies universally) and am now in a great relationship with a guy I trust. I just finished my second year of university and am hardly ready to settle down, but for the present, I'm very happy.
This is the first time I've felt serious enough about someone to continue a relationship despite distance, so I'm at a bit of a loss. I'm leaving for China tomorrow, and will be there for 5 weeks. I know 5 weeks may not seem like a long time, but I am wondering how best to handle it. I would like my relationship to continue where it left off when I return. Is it best to keep strong contact via email? Or should I immerse myself in the culture over there as much as possible and temporarily cut the ties? Thanks, Bubby.
Dear Half-A-World Away,
I'm really happy for you and I hope you have a great time in China. I assume that 5 weeks will be a learning experience and visiting the sites. As for your relationship - if you like this young man, why should you give him up? How does he feel about you? If it is good then you can correspond via email and you might tell him that if at all possible you will call him one day while you are away. Suppose you were at different schools - you would correspond and meet when it was possible.
When I was in college, I had a boyfriend and we were many miles apart but that did not matter. The feeling was mutual and after three years we were married. It was very successful.
Best of good luck.
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