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Dear Bubby,
My father-in-law moved in with us 1 week ago. His wife of 63 years passed away unexpectedly 3 weeks ago. He is not well. His is 83, has prostrate cancer and is on oxygen. He is a wonderful man and we are hoping to help make the rest of his golden years good.
He was paying $900 a month rent plus all the extras that go with making life comfortable in Pennsylvania. Now that he is with us in Florida I feel that he should be paying his way. I feel that he could also pay $900 here at our home, considering that we are doing everything for him.
Help. I don't want to be a scrooge and would respect your opinion. Both my husband and I are semi-retired, but still need to work.
I also care for my Mom who is 95 yr. young and lives in a low income apt. I pay for someone to help me look after her. The money that he would give us would help a lot. Of course, if he "needed" the money for medical expenses, he would have it.
Thanks,
Bonnie
Dear Bonnie,
Your letter made me think of a sitcom. But I do sympathize with you. I am surprised at your father-in-law. It did not take him much time to decide to move in with you, and at the same time he should have been just as quick to tell you that he would contribute a certain amount of money for his living.
First he must have health coverage for which he should pay himself along with other personal expenses. And then your husband should have a talk with him about what he should contribute to living with you. This should be between your husband and his father - you are not the daughter. You are already contributing to your mother's welfare and I am sure that is not easy - and you are still working.
Your father-in-law can surely understand these circumstances and should be only too happy to pay his way - it will give him a feeling of pride and being with you and your husband will keep him happier than being alone. By all means he (your father-in-law) should pay his way and be proud of it.
Good health and good luck to all.
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