Help Me, Bubby!

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Thursday, July 8, 2004
   
Dear Bubby,

I'm from Singapore. Stumbled upon your site twice by chance and guess fate brought me to you.

I have this boyfriend whom I am with for the past 2 years and 8 months. Life has been full of challenges, changes and good times. The first man in my life and someone who actually loves me back instead of the typical "first-relationship-doesn't-last" situation. I really love him a lot and can see that he does think likewise about our relationship and intends to settle down into marriage upon the 4th year of our relationship.

I am only but 21 years old this year (haha). Reckon that would be very young still to make any decision but I am a person that is clear of what I want and feel therefore my decisions are thoroughly considered before even making one.

The problem perhaps, is that my boyfriend has no qualification. His future seems uncertain. Inevitably, I feel concerned and occasionally, dubious of whether I am making the right choice. He is definitely regretful of the mistakes he made during his younger years and is willing to work hard for the future. He treats me very well and from my observation, he treats me with with care and concern and most importantly, with respect and is not the least bit chauvinistic. My mom pampers him a lot as she believes that he is the man I love therefore she loves him too. My faith keeps me strong.

I guess there's not much of a question in this letter but just something I felt like sharing with Bubby. Will Bubby support me in my decision on staying with him in this relationship too?

Yours Sincerely,
Hopeful Thinker


Dear Hopeful Thinker,

I can see that you are thinking a lot, but to what end?? This man - how old is he - you are 21 and you have been seeing him for almost 3 years. That is not so bad. He is nice to you and respects you and he says he loves you but the future is more than all that. If he has "no qualifications", so what does the future hold for you?? Is he independently wealthy? He has no job. How does he pay when you go out or don't you go out?

I think you are making a mistake. At 21 you should be seeing other young men who have better qualifications like a job or studying to get a better job by taking courses. You sound like a young lady with a lot of common sense and I suggest you and he should separate for a while - that will give you a chance to meet other young people so that you can compare this person with others. There are many nice, thoughtful young men around. Meet them. If you were my daughter I would certainly suggest this to you.

I think he is stringing you along telling you that he will marry you after 4 years and after 4 years he may say "another four years." From what you say about him he is also much older than you, but I think you are smarter than he is.

Give this a lot more thought and the best to you.
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By submitting a letter to this website, you grant Help Me, Bubby! permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications. Your letter will only include an anonymous signature that you provide or that we use to substitute for your real name. Your email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a letter will be responded to. Any information or advice given at Help Me, Bubby! is not intended to provide an alternative to professional medical treatment or to replace the advice or services of a physician or psychiatrist. Neither Bubby nor her granddaughters are professional therapists or medical experts. If you have any serious medical or mental problem, please consult a professional. Although all this advice is offered lovingly from the heart and in good spirit, we are not responsible in any way for your decision to accept or reject the advice or the results thereafter.

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Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.


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Voted "Blog Of Note" on Blogger.com (2003)
4-star Review from The Weblog Review (1.5.04)
Voted "Blog Of The Day" by The Blog Hunter
Voted "Blog Of The Day" by Eugene.com
Featured in the Tampa Tribune online
Featured in USA TODAY (4.22.04)
Bubby's first radio interview - 96.5 WOXL (5.4.04)
JewsWeek Jewriffic Award: "Best blog of the week" (6.6.04)
New York Times: Letter to the Editor (6.11.04)
Jerusalem Post: Feature article (7.2.04)
Interview for Akron, Ohio newspaper (aug.'04)
Golden Web Page Award (dec.'04)
Reader's Digest article, "Me Me Media" (july.'05)
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AARP Magazine article: July/August 2006 issue
Listed as "Cool Site Of The Day": (7.27.06)
O Globo Online: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (aug.'06)

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Holding Myself Back
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End Of The World
Overprotected
17 And Pregnant
The Other Woman
Grandma Troubles



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