Help Me, Bubby!

Other Bubby Books at Amazon:

Bubby Irma's Kitchen

Yiddish Your Bubbe Never Taught You

Poetry by Jewish Grandaughters

Bubbe & Gram

Bubbe's Kitchen

My Bubbe's Arms

Bubbie & Zeide's Favorite Language

Bennett and His Bubbe's Beau

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Monday, July 5, 2004
Reader Update: Doctor Who?

On March 3, we received a letter from a frugal veterinarian on Long Island. Bubby doesn't like to pick favorites, so let's just say she has very high regard for this writer, because he made her laugh, laugh, laugh. Dr. Huntfresser was looking for advice on how to improve his shlumpy ways. The nurses in his office were tired of seeing him drink out of the same water bottle for months, which they were sure was filled with bacteria by this point. Even when the Doc discovered a strand of E.coli in the bottle, he couldn't find the motivation to change his ways.

Bubby wrote back that he should ignore those women and drink whatever he wanted, from wherever he wanted. But more important than the bacteria he was consuming, Bubby wanted to know: "Are you married? If so - I am sure she has the ammunition to correct what she wants to correct in you."

So, whatever happened to Dr. Huntfresser? Is this doctor still coasting by on his E.coli... or did the nurses finally give him a shot of his own medicine?

Dear Bubby,

Actually, in order to get along better with the yentes at our hospital, I have taken to drinking Crystal Light which I mix in a store-bought RubberMaid 2 liter bottle. The problem is, I often forget to return my bottle to the refrigerator. It sits out and grows mold. The good news is, the mold is so disgusting that even I cannot bring myself to drink out of it so I end up washing it. I get it pretty clean. The funny thing is, they are all so disgusted by my moldy Crystal Light that they are begging me to go back to the old soda bottle and water routine.

It reminds me of a story my father used to tell from the Old Country:

A man goes to the rabbi and complains, "Rabbi, My wife and I have been blessed with 12 children!" The Rabbi says, "Nu?! So what's wrong with that?"

"Well, the house is too crowded now. I'm losing my mind."

"I see," says the Rabbi, "You must move your donkey into the house right away. Come back in a week." The pious man moves his donkey into his house that night. He returns to the Rabbi a week later.

"Rabbi, the donkey is so noisy and now the house is smelly too!"

"I see," says the Rabbi, "You must move your chickens into the house. Come back in a week." The pious man moves the chickens into the house and comes back a week later.

"Now there's chicken poop everywhere!", he says. The Rabbi tells him to bring his flock of sheep into the house. This goes on until the house looks like Noah's ark.

"Rabbi, you are a great and wise man, but all that this has done is make my house more crowded and annoying! My children have been forced out of their beds by the geese and my wife and I share a bed with a calf."

"I see," says the Rabbi, "You must remove all the animals from the house
tonight." A week later the man returns.

"Rabbi, you are a genius! The house is so roomy and quiet it's a mechayah!"

So too is my moldy Crystal Light. Now, the yente-vet-techs all marvel at my "clean" reusable soda bottle. When people think things are bad, sometimes they need to be shown just how bad things can get! Thanks for your help Bubby.

Dr. Huntfresser (Oy Vet Zmeer!)

Bubby responded to the good doctor... (and p.s.: a "mechayah" means, a delight.)

Dear Dr. Huntfresser,
Thanks for the joke. It is so typical of the "old country" jokes I used to hear from my parents. But with the fun there is always a lesson behind it.
Enjoy your bottle -- at least it is water.

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By submitting a letter to this website, you grant Help Me, Bubby! permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications. Your letter will only include an anonymous signature that you provide or that we use to substitute for your real name. Your email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a letter will be responded to. Any information or advice given at Help Me, Bubby! is not intended to provide an alternative to professional medical treatment or to replace the advice or services of a physician or psychiatrist. Neither Bubby nor her granddaughters are professional therapists or medical experts. If you have any serious medical or mental problem, please consult a professional. Although all this advice is offered lovingly from the heart and in good spirit, we are not responsible in any way for your decision to accept or reject the advice or the results thereafter.

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Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.

Bald and oblivious
Denim diagnosis
Girls are weird
Halloween ideas
I smell him from here
I'm gonna marry you
How to meet a man
Nerds go far
Political predictions
Sloppy spouse
Tastes like chicken

Voted "Blog Of Note" on (2003)
4-star Review from The Weblog Review (1.5.04)
Voted "Blog Of The Day" by The Blog Hunter
Voted "Blog Of The Day" by
Featured in the Tampa Tribune online
Featured in USA TODAY (4.22.04)
Bubby's first radio interview - 96.5 WOXL (5.4.04)
JewsWeek Jewriffic Award: "Best blog of the week" (6.6.04)
New York Times: Letter to the Editor (6.11.04)
Jerusalem Post: Feature article (7.2.04)
Interview for Akron, Ohio newspaper (aug.'04)
Golden Web Page Award (dec.'04)
Reader's Digest article, "Me Me Media" (july.'05) "Alternative Site of the Day" (aug.'05)
AARP Magazine article: July/August 2006 issue
Listed as "Cool Site Of The Day": (7.27.06)
O Globo Online: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (aug.'06)

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Holding Myself Back
Where's My Glory?
End Of The World
17 And Pregnant
The Other Woman
Grandma Troubles

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80-year old Millie
Nice Jewish Doctor
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