Help Me, Bubby!

Other Bubby Books at Amazon:

Bubby Irma's Kitchen

Yiddish Your Bubbe Never Taught You

Poetry by Jewish Grandaughters

Bubbe & Gram

Bubbe's Kitchen

My Bubbe's Arms

Bubbie & Zeide's Favorite Language

Bennett and His Bubbe's Beau

Click to learn more about Bubby's book

Site Disclaimer
Send your questions to
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Reader's Response: Wedding Etiquette Re-re-revisited

On May 26th, we received a letter from Mrs. B, who needed Bubby's advice concerning a wedding invitation (Miss Manners' apparently didn't have a chapter on this). The envelope contained no RSVP card, and Mrs. B wasn't sure how she should formally inform the couple that she would in fact be showing up. Bubby wrote back that the wedding was probably going to be a very informal affair, and that Mrs. B should just send a hand-written note confirming her presence at their party. An update soon followed, and Mrs. B told us that Bubby was correct - it was going to be a very informal affair.

A few weeks after that we received another letter from a woman in Jerusalem, who had read Mrs. B's letter, and Bubby's advice -- and then had a few insights of her own to share with us. Here's what she wrote:

Dear Bubby,

I enjoy your blog very much. Reading your advice makes me miss my own Bubby (whom I call "Omi"), who lives in America (I moved to Israel last year). She's very sweet and makes excellent blintzes.

Anyhow, tonight I read about the wedding invitation with no response card. Your reply, and the follow-up the next day, made me think of something interesting.

Not so long ago, response cards were considered gauche. If you read the Miss Manner's books from a few decades ago -- which you probably remember, Bubby, but some of your younger readers might not -- they all say that when you get an invitation to a wedding, you must hand-write a response on your own stationery, accepting or declining the invitation. So the advice you gave, technically, is the very most formal way of responding.

It's interesting how manners change over time. Once upon a time, writing a hand-written response was the ONLY acceptable way to respond to a formal invitation. Now, it's come full circle, and become the way to respond when an invitation is so INformal that there is no response card!

Anyhow, keep up the good work.
--A Fan in Jerusalem

links to this post

Links to this post:



Post a Comment

"Help Me, Bubby!" Disclaimer
By submitting a letter to this website, you grant Help Me, Bubby! permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications. Your letter will only include an anonymous signature that you provide or that we use to substitute for your real name. Your email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a letter will be responded to. Any information or advice given at Help Me, Bubby! is not intended to provide an alternative to professional medical treatment or to replace the advice or services of a physician or psychiatrist. Neither Bubby nor her granddaughters are professional therapists or medical experts. If you have any serious medical or mental problem, please consult a professional. Although all this advice is offered lovingly from the heart and in good spirit, we are not responsible in any way for your decision to accept or reject the advice or the results thereafter.

Powered by Blogger Logo

Click to learn more about Bubby's book

Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.

Bald and oblivious
Denim diagnosis
Girls are weird
Halloween ideas
I smell him from here
I'm gonna marry you
How to meet a man
Nerds go far
Political predictions
Sloppy spouse
Tastes like chicken

Voted "Blog Of Note" on (2003)
4-star Review from The Weblog Review (1.5.04)
Voted "Blog Of The Day" by The Blog Hunter
Voted "Blog Of The Day" by
Featured in the Tampa Tribune online
Featured in USA TODAY (4.22.04)
Bubby's first radio interview - 96.5 WOXL (5.4.04)
JewsWeek Jewriffic Award: "Best blog of the week" (6.6.04)
New York Times: Letter to the Editor (6.11.04)
Jerusalem Post: Feature article (7.2.04)
Interview for Akron, Ohio newspaper (aug.'04)
Golden Web Page Award (dec.'04)
Reader's Digest article, "Me Me Media" (july.'05) "Alternative Site of the Day" (aug.'05)
AARP Magazine article: July/August 2006 issue
Listed as "Cool Site Of The Day": (7.27.06)
O Globo Online: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (aug.'06)

Bubby on itunes
Holding Myself Back
Where's My Glory?
End Of The World
17 And Pregnant
The Other Woman
Grandma Troubles

Other Jewish Bloggers:
80-year old Millie
Nice Jewish Doctor
Send us your links!

Creative Commons License
All content and images
on this website are
licensed under a
Creative Commons License.