Congrats to Bubby on a great new interview for the Akron, Ohio newspaper this week. And a special thanks to Jews in Green, for a nice little Bubby mention today.
Got any advice for a lonely 53-year old?
After an unwanted divorce, I've had to relocate a few times, looking for work. I'm now living in a new city with my daughter (also divorced) and in the evenings I help watch her kids.
Work is still not easy to find because of my age and being 'overqualified'. I have a nice church but I'm not meeting people who are open to new friendships. I can't volunteer in the community until I have spare money for a police check.
I've always had more friends than I can cope with, but after the past three years, I'd be really happy with one or two. I've always believed in giving to others what you'd like in return, but I've reached a point where there seems to be no takers for anything but babysitting!
Tell me, O Wise One...does everyone reach a point like this in life? I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do, but the constant, low hum of loss and loneliness
is starting to get to me. If you have any sage advice for me, I'd love to hear it.
- At a loss in Mississauga -
What I can't understand is why you need money to have a police check up. Do you want to do some police work? And what does that have to do with friends and friendship?
I can understand it when you say the people at your church don't seem to be inclined to make new friends. I have seen that, but some people just have a "click" and they are satisfied. You could volunteer to help in some project like preparing for a luncheon or working at your bazaar. That would give you a chance to get to know the people at your church. Check your local papers -- there are usually listings of weekend activities for different age groups. Try going to them. If you don't like the first group - try a second or go another time. I am sure different people come on different days.
Have you tried volunteering as an aid at one of the schools? Or, how about taking a class at a school where there are evening classes. Is there an exercise class for adults at one of the schools or at a gym? You can have lots of fun there and make friends easily. I would suggest that you try one of these alternatives. You may like it.
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