Help Me, Bubby!

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Emmes

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My Bubbe's Arms
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Bubbie & Zeide's Favorite Language
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Bennett and His Bubbe's Beau
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Friday, August 13, 2004
   
Dear Bubby,

Let me first say that I love reading your advice. It makes me wish my grandmother was still around to ask for advice. Since she isn't, I thought I'd do the next best thing and ask you.

My problem is this: my roommate's single-mom has recently been evicted from her home. This woman has 2 young daughters and doesn't have or plan to obtain a job. My roommate, who is currently unemployed and searching for a job himself, believes that we should let them stay with us for a month or more in order to let them "get back on their feet". Bubby, I have known this family for several years, and this woman has never held a job in that whole time.

I don't feel that I can afford to support these extra people on my salary, and I don't honestly believe that my roommate's mom will be helpful either financially
or with supervising the kids. My roommate hasn't asked them to stay more than a night or two; but I know he thinks I'm selfish for not letting them stay with us
longer.

I have a hard time making my case because I do feel selfish for making these kids drift from hotel to hotel. This is my first apartment, and I value it, and my new-found privacy, enormously. I've been financially behind almost since I turned 18, and I'm just now starting to turn that around. I'm 25.

I guess my question is, am I selfish and cruel to not want all these extra people staying in a 2 bedroom apartment for an undefined time period? Or is it my right to want my privacy and personal space to remain sacred?

Thank you Bubby, From Selfish


Dear Selfish,

I do not think that you are being selfish by not taking in a family. If you do, your home will be their home forever.

This woman should go to welfare and they will help her relocate and help her find a job. This roommate of yours I see is her son as well. You don't owe him anything. There are many places to find a job - being a cashier in a super market - taking care of children - if you are in an area where there are gardens they can mow lawns -anything that will give them some cash. Welfare can find them a place to live and give them some money until they get on their feet again.

My advice to you is don't get involved with them. You say that you are trying to get ahead so why have an albatross around your neck. They don't have to sponge off you when there is a welfare to take care of them.

Think of yourself and take a firm stand.

Good luck.
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By submitting a letter to this website, you grant Help Me, Bubby! permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications. Your letter will only include an anonymous signature that you provide or that we use to substitute for your real name. Your email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a letter will be responded to. Any information or advice given at Help Me, Bubby! is not intended to provide an alternative to professional medical treatment or to replace the advice or services of a physician or psychiatrist. Neither Bubby nor her granddaughters are professional therapists or medical experts. If you have any serious medical or mental problem, please consult a professional. Although all this advice is offered lovingly from the heart and in good spirit, we are not responsible in any way for your decision to accept or reject the advice or the results thereafter.

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Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.


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4-star Review from The Weblog Review (1.5.04)
Voted "Blog Of The Day" by The Blog Hunter
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Bubby's first radio interview - 96.5 WOXL (5.4.04)
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New York Times: Letter to the Editor (6.11.04)
Jerusalem Post: Feature article (7.2.04)
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