Let me first say that I love reading your advice. It makes me wish my grandmother was still around to ask for advice. Since she isn't, I thought I'd do the next best thing and ask you.
My problem is this: my roommate's single-mom has recently been evicted from her home. This woman has 2 young daughters and doesn't have or plan to obtain a job. My roommate, who is currently unemployed and searching for a job himself, believes that we should let them stay with us for a month or more in order to let them "get back on their feet". Bubby, I have known this family for several years, and this woman has never held a job in that whole time.
I don't feel that I can afford to support these extra people on my salary, and I don't honestly believe that my roommate's mom will be helpful either financially
or with supervising the kids. My roommate hasn't asked them to stay more than a night or two; but I know he thinks I'm selfish for not letting them stay with us
I have a hard time making my case because I do feel selfish for making these kids drift from hotel to hotel. This is my first apartment, and I value it, and my new-found privacy, enormously. I've been financially behind almost since I turned 18, and I'm just now starting to turn that around. I'm 25.
I guess my question is, am I selfish and cruel to not want all these extra people staying in a 2 bedroom apartment for an undefined time period? Or is it my right to want my privacy and personal space to remain sacred?
Thank you Bubby, From Selfish
I do not think that you are being selfish by not taking in a family. If you do, your home will be their home forever.
This woman should go to welfare and they will help her relocate and help her find a job. This roommate of yours I see is her son as well. You don't owe him anything. There are many places to find a job - being a cashier in a super market - taking care of children - if you are in an area where there are gardens they can mow lawns -anything that will give them some cash. Welfare can find them a place to live and give them some money until they get on their feet again.
My advice to you is don't get involved with them. You say that you are trying to get ahead so why have an albatross around your neck. They don't have to sponge off you when there is a welfare to take care of them.
Think of yourself and take a firm stand.
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