Help Me, Bubby!

Other Bubby Books at Amazon:

Bubby Irma's Kitchen

Yiddish Your Bubbe Never Taught You

Poetry by Jewish Grandaughters

Bubbe & Gram

Bubbe's Kitchen

My Bubbe's Arms

Bubbie & Zeide's Favorite Language

Bennett and His Bubbe's Beau

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Tuesday, August 10, 2004
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Dear Bubby,

I greatly enjoy reading your advice and decided I would ask a question of my own. It is about my in-laws. They do not live in the same town as my husband and I and I think they resent this. They make unkind comments directed at me at every opportunity. For example, they make continuous comments about wanting more grandchildren (I cannot have more children, which they have been told on several occasions). My mother in-law went as far to broadcast in front of my husband's entire family that my sister-in-law was the only one who could supply her with more grandchildren!

My question is, how do I deal with them? It is basically my mother-in-law and sister-in-law who are so cruel. I have tried ignoring them but their comments do cut deep. My husband is at his wits end with them and I am trying to continue to forgive since it is important to me that our son have a relationship with BOTH sides of our families. It hurts both of us that they would be callous since our son will be the only child and it would benefit him tremendously to have tight bonds with them.

Thank you so much!
Take care, Sad Mom

Dear Sad Mom,

Instead of critiquing you and your husband for not having more children, your in-laws should be happy that you have had one child. Whether you cannot have more or decided that one is enough for you is none of their business. When they criticize you, just tell them they should be glad that you have such a sweet little boy and they should love him.

There may be a time years later when G---- will bless you with good health and you may decide to try again and you will have another child. That is what happened to one of my sisters. But for the present, since they don't live near you -- you can just be civil to them and if they bring up the subject - remind them of your physical condition.

I know a couple that called their marriage "child free" and their families accepted that. Just enjoy your little boy, and I repeat -- don't discuss pregnancy with them. What surprises me is that your sister-in-law acts the way you say. She should certainly be on your side.

I do hope this will help to bring about shalom (peace) in your family relationships. That is the best way to live. Good health and happiness to your little family.

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By submitting a letter to this website, you grant Help Me, Bubby! permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications. Your letter will only include an anonymous signature that you provide or that we use to substitute for your real name. Your email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a letter will be responded to. Any information or advice given at Help Me, Bubby! is not intended to provide an alternative to professional medical treatment or to replace the advice or services of a physician or psychiatrist. Neither Bubby nor her granddaughters are professional therapists or medical experts. If you have any serious medical or mental problem, please consult a professional. Although all this advice is offered lovingly from the heart and in good spirit, we are not responsible in any way for your decision to accept or reject the advice or the results thereafter.

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Click to learn more about Bubby's book

Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.

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Voted "Blog Of Note" on (2003)
4-star Review from The Weblog Review (1.5.04)
Voted "Blog Of The Day" by The Blog Hunter
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Featured in the Tampa Tribune online
Featured in USA TODAY (4.22.04)
Bubby's first radio interview - 96.5 WOXL (5.4.04)
JewsWeek Jewriffic Award: "Best blog of the week" (6.6.04)
New York Times: Letter to the Editor (6.11.04)
Jerusalem Post: Feature article (7.2.04)
Interview for Akron, Ohio newspaper (aug.'04)
Golden Web Page Award (dec.'04)
Reader's Digest article, "Me Me Media" (july.'05) "Alternative Site of the Day" (aug.'05)
AARP Magazine article: July/August 2006 issue
Listed as "Cool Site Of The Day": (7.27.06)
O Globo Online: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (aug.'06)

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Holding Myself Back
Where's My Glory?
End Of The World
17 And Pregnant
The Other Woman
Grandma Troubles

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