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I am a 25. I am in love with a guy who is in the Armed Forces. We are madly in love and can't make it without each other.
Being in the armed forces means he will never stay long in one place. He will be posted to all border areas where carrying a job will be impossible for me. Marrying him and staying with him will mean giving up my career which I have been invested in for the last 25 years. My career is my identity and dream. His identity is being a professional soldier.
So, there is a choice between him and my career. I can't have both at the same time. If I have both at the same time then that calls for living separately. If we live separately, then why do we get married?
People have told me to prioritize my life and choose. But how can I do that if I feel strongly about both? I just don't know what to do. Please enlighten me, dear bubby.
Ms. I. Dentity
From what you tell me, you and you alone will have to make a choice. Either get married and follow this young man wherever he will be stationed or give him up to pursue your own career. Which is more important?
There are many women married to army, navy, marine and aviators who are very happy. I am sure each of these women had to make the same decision. You could see the world, meet many different people and you could have a happy family.
But you could give him up and continue with your career. Even working in any job this person could be required to travel - it is done all the time. How great is this love between both of you and how does he feel about all this? If he is luke warm about it why don't you try the separation for a while and see what develops.
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