Help Me, Bubby!

Other Bubby Books at Amazon:

Bubby Irma's Kitchen

Yiddish Your Bubbe Never Taught You

Poetry by Jewish Grandaughters

Bubbe & Gram

Bubbe's Kitchen

My Bubbe's Arms

Bubbie & Zeide's Favorite Language

Bennett and His Bubbe's Beau

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Monday, August 16, 2004
Site Tip:With the new Blogger Bar on top, you can do searches for your favorite questions sent to Bubby. Or search for the topics you like to read most about. Like, what to do about getting gum on your jeans while defrosting a chicken to cook for your new boyfriend who can't dress to save his life.

Dear Bubby,

I am a 25. I am in love with a guy who is in the Armed Forces. We are madly in love and can't make it without each other.

Being in the armed forces means he will never stay long in one place. He will be posted to all border areas where carrying a job will be impossible for me. Marrying him and staying with him will mean giving up my career which I have been invested in for the last 25 years. My career is my identity and dream. His identity is being a professional soldier.

So, there is a choice between him and my career. I can't have both at the same time. If I have both at the same time then that calls for living separately. If we live separately, then why do we get married?

People have told me to prioritize my life and choose. But how can I do that if I feel strongly about both? I just don't know what to do. Please enlighten me, dear bubby.

Ms. I. Dentity

Dear Identity,

From what you tell me, you and you alone will have to make a choice. Either get married and follow this young man wherever he will be stationed or give him up to pursue your own career. Which is more important?

There are many women married to army, navy, marine and aviators who are very happy. I am sure each of these women had to make the same decision. You could see the world, meet many different people and you could have a happy family.

But you could give him up and continue with your career. Even working in any job this person could be required to travel - it is done all the time. How great is this love between both of you and how does he feel about all this? If he is luke warm about it why don't you try the separation for a while and see what develops.

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By submitting a letter to this website, you grant Help Me, Bubby! permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications. Your letter will only include an anonymous signature that you provide or that we use to substitute for your real name. Your email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a letter will be responded to. Any information or advice given at Help Me, Bubby! is not intended to provide an alternative to professional medical treatment or to replace the advice or services of a physician or psychiatrist. Neither Bubby nor her granddaughters are professional therapists or medical experts. If you have any serious medical or mental problem, please consult a professional. Although all this advice is offered lovingly from the heart and in good spirit, we are not responsible in any way for your decision to accept or reject the advice or the results thereafter.

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Click to learn more about Bubby's book

Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.

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I smell him from here
I'm gonna marry you
How to meet a man
Nerds go far
Political predictions
Sloppy spouse
Tastes like chicken

Voted "Blog Of Note" on (2003)
4-star Review from The Weblog Review (1.5.04)
Voted "Blog Of The Day" by The Blog Hunter
Voted "Blog Of The Day" by
Featured in the Tampa Tribune online
Featured in USA TODAY (4.22.04)
Bubby's first radio interview - 96.5 WOXL (5.4.04)
JewsWeek Jewriffic Award: "Best blog of the week" (6.6.04)
New York Times: Letter to the Editor (6.11.04)
Jerusalem Post: Feature article (7.2.04)
Interview for Akron, Ohio newspaper (aug.'04)
Golden Web Page Award (dec.'04)
Reader's Digest article, "Me Me Media" (july.'05) "Alternative Site of the Day" (aug.'05)
AARP Magazine article: July/August 2006 issue
Listed as "Cool Site Of The Day": (7.27.06)
O Globo Online: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (aug.'06)

Bubby on itunes
Holding Myself Back
Where's My Glory?
End Of The World
17 And Pregnant
The Other Woman
Grandma Troubles

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80-year old Millie
Nice Jewish Doctor
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