Dear Bubby,
I have a family situation that I hope you can help me with. Although I did not come from a particularly large or close family, I've married into one. My husband has a lot of family in our area and I've become close with them all.
We have a beautiful one-year old daughter who loves to play with her 2 year-old twin second cousins. The problem is that almost every time I've made a play date with my husband's aunt for the kids to get together, she ends up canceling. I know that life must be busy for her with two rambunctious boys, however it seems like I'm the only one getting left out of the loop. She and the boys are free to spend time with my husband, her sister, her niece, the boys' grandparents and other friends.
Although this does bother me, I haven't really let on. I've always told her, "It's no problem, we'll get together some other time". I don't know how to address this situation without sounding less than polite.
Thanks so much,
Feeling left out
Dear Feeling Left Out,
I know just how you feel being left out. I think you should first discuss this with your husband. Does he visit with the family without you? That should be a NONO. You should visit together or not at all. Why don't you call the person who always cancels and have a talk with her. Maybe she doesn't realize what she is doing. Tell her how you feel about all these cancellations.
If the little ones can't be together when they are small they will grow up as strangers and the family relationship will be gone completely. Is that what she
wants? Also I would tell her from now on - you will wait to hear from her - it hurts too much to always being cancelled and left out. You have to "hit the nail on the head" if you want to get results. Stick up for yourself.
Good luck and let me hear how it all worked out. There is nothing so important as a close relationship with family.
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