Help Me, Bubby!

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Thursday, March 24, 2005
   
Dear Bubby,

A few weeks back a very good friend wanted me to go on a ski trip. Being in university and having money issues at the moment, I knew there was no way I could afford this trip (it was very expensive). I also had family obligations that weekend which would have prevented me from going as well. I explained all of this to her and told her that I wouldn't be able to go.

Later that day, she called back and told me that she had gone ahead and booked and paid for me. I told her that I had asked her not to do that and she said she knew this but she really wanted me to go. She said she trusted me and that I could pay her the money back whenever I wanted.

I ended up not going. A few weeks passed, and she never mentioned the money until today. She was wondering if I wanted her to go with me to see if I could get my money back for the trip. She told me that if I couldn't get it back,(apparently they had a no-refund-policy) than I could pay her back before the end of the semester.

I am in shock. I really, truly do not have the money to pay her and I probably won’t have it any time soon. While it was nice that she wanted me to go, it seems that she totally ignored my situation and went ahead and did what she wanted to do. I’m the kind of person who doesn't like to owe money to anyone and I feel extremely bad about the mess that has developed over all this.

I don’t know what to do and it's really stressing me out. Do I just try and get the money to pay her back? I don’t see how this is my problem as I told her couldn't go. Please Help Bubby!

Thanks so much,
To pay or not to pay



Dear to Pay or not to Pay,

If you told your friends that you cannot or do not want to go on the ski trip, she had no business making the reservation. She should have asked if the trip is refundable and if the answer was NO then she should not have made the reservation for you.

You are not obligated to pay. You might offer something to her as a friendly gesture but the charge is your friend's obligation not yours.

For the future I hope both of you have learned that you don't spend another person's money at any time.

I hope this does not cost you your friendship.
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Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.


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