I am a 21 year old college student who has everything he could possibly want - a busy life, good grades, lots of friends and no financial worries. However, there is one thing I don't have and it is something I desperately want - a serious relationship with a Jewish girl.
I haven't had a girlfriend for over 3 years now and am not the kind of guy who likes one night stands or anything of that kind. I'm also not the kind of person who meets girls in bars or clubs, so I get to know people through conversation at dinners or Jewish events.
Basically I'm what everyone calls a 'nice guy'. I have loads of friends who are girls but they only see me as a friend. When I ask a girl out, I get a 'no' with no genuine reason given. I'm relatively good looking, intelligent, respectful to women, have great prospects and a good sense of humor. I want to meet someone who can be a friend and a girlfriend.
I'm also a good listener and girls do discuss problems with me - which annoys me sometimes! If they are having relationship problems and I then ask them what they really want out of a relationship, they usually describe a guy who, without them realizing it, is me.
I don't want to have to pretend to be anything other than myself, because a relationship based on that won't be genuine. So why am I in this rut and what I should do to get out of it? It's really beginning to get me down - I feel very lonely even with all my friends around me.
Please help me!
The Nice Guy
Dear Nice Guy,
It seems to me that you are a nice guy and that any nice girl would be glad to go out with you. So let's take stock and try to find out just what is lacking. Are you too heavy? Are your clothes proper? Do you have a speech defect? All these things can be corrected. Take stock of yourself. Do you spend too much time discussing articles that girls find dull? If you have boy friends, have you ever talked to them about your problem?
You know, it takes one to know one and your fellow Jewish friends would surely tell you if you have any undesirable habits. Or if you like, tell me and we will try together to get to the bottom of it.
You are still quite young and I am sure the right girl will come along. You should mix with all young people at school functions so you will get to know what girls are really like.
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