Dear Bubby,
Okay. I met this guy at my camp this summer, and we started dating. He lives an hour away from me, so I see him occasionally, and we e-mail constantly. He's mature, smart, and a little reserved, with an interesting wit! I really like him for his personality. That's basically what our whole relationship is about. We really don't have a physical relationship at ALL, all we do is hold hands, sometimes.
Now to my problem! I'm starting high school in the fall, and I'm having doubts. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but what if I start liking another guy? I won't be able to see this one hardly at all! And sometimes I feel like I'm having doubts about how well I like him... Should I wait until there is a problem or should I let him down now? Should I even do anything?
Thanks for your help!
Doubtful Girlfriend
Dear Doubtful Girlfriend,
I think the best thing you could do is tell this young man that for now you would like to be friends and let the girlfriend decision go for now. In that way you can get to know this person without discrimination. That means you will get to know him better without strings attached. He will be himself and so will you.
If he does not agree with you, drop him and look for someone else as a friend and not a girlfriend. You can play the field without feeling you are cheating on anyone. You should look for the virtue in a person - his likes and dislikes, his plans for the future. You will both mature and the answer will be good or "thanks but no thanks."
Better to be right at the beginning than sorry at the end.
Good luck.
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