Help Me, Bubby!

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Bubby Irma's Kitchen

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Poetry by Jewish Grandaughters

Bubbe & Gram

Bubbe's Kitchen

My Bubbe's Arms

Bubbie & Zeide's Favorite Language

Bennett and His Bubbe's Beau

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Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Dear Bubby,

I want to ask you for your advice on a relationship or lack there of. I'm in love with a girl in my drama group. I can't stop thinking about her. But I don't know what to do.

I'm 17 and I have never loved like this. I've gone out with other girls before but not loved them like this. My problem is that she is 20 and 4 years ahead of me academically -- she is finishing college this year and I am finishing high school. This is a bit of a difference in Ireland.

I have felt like this for about a year and half now. I had no thought of asking her about it until about 4 months ago. We started a play where a character was being forced into an arranged marriage. As the roles settled, she got the part of the girl being forced into the arranged marriage and I got the part of her true love. We had some great fun in rehearsals, but it was what everyone else was saying about the 2 of us on stage that was making me think. Most people said that there was a great chemistry between us. I believed that it was just her ability as an actor, but then recently on a night out with the drama group the 2 of us were talking about something when she stopped me to ask what kind of cologne I was wearing. On other nights out I noticed that she seems to be laughing at even my most stupid jokes.

I really have no idea what to do, but I know that I don't want to lose her. I have had too many sleepless night thinking about her, and I don't know whether I should risk saying something.

Sorry for the mail being so long.

I from Ireland

Dear from Ireland,

I think that you should have a talk with this girl about the future. Ask her what she plans to do. She probably will say "get a job and a career and maybe meet someone." At 20 she must think of you as a nice kid and that is about all. In your discussion you can bring up the discussion of how you feel about her and you will learn how she feels about you.

It is true that there are marriages where the wife is older than the husband but that is usually among people older than your age and this girl. When you both are acting in a play remember that it is only "make believe" and if you are good in your parts the audience will say "they are terrific." But remember it is only MAKE BELIEVE.

I would suggest that you wait a few years - another girl will come along and you will recognize that this was just a teen age crush. Play the field and have fun till then.
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By submitting a letter to this website, you grant Help Me, Bubby! permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications. Your letter will only include an anonymous signature that you provide or that we use to substitute for your real name. Your email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a letter will be responded to. Any information or advice given at Help Me, Bubby! is not intended to provide an alternative to professional medical treatment or to replace the advice or services of a physician or psychiatrist. Neither Bubby nor her granddaughters are professional therapists or medical experts. If you have any serious medical or mental problem, please consult a professional. Although all this advice is offered lovingly from the heart and in good spirit, we are not responsible in any way for your decision to accept or reject the advice or the results thereafter.

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Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.

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