Hi Bubby,
I've been faced with a problem for a while now, and I wanted to see what you had to say about it.
My freshman year in high school, I met a nice guy and we became really good friends. All our friends noticed that we clicked. But at the time I was in a steady relationship with someone else. But after a while, even though I didn't want to admit it, I fell for him - hard. We stayed friends for a few months and then I broke it off with my previous relationship and got up the nerve to try to be more than friends.
He was always everything I'd looked for, but he held a grudge that I had waited so long to show my return of affection. The relationship didn't last long because he wanted to wait until I was out of high school to be in a serious relationship with me. He told me that I was the type that he wanted to settle down with, but wanted to keep our relationship as friends.
Now, two years later, it's my junior year... and we still casually keep in touch. My friends say if he really cared, he would come over and date me now... But he's told me that he didn't want to get too serious before I am out of school.
Three months ago, I met a really great guy that resembled this other guy and all the things I loved about him so much. Except he's willing to date me! We've gotten really close, and he's been talking about getting engaged soon. I really want someone with the type of personality that these two guys have... and they're both a really rare catch. The only regret I feel is that the reason I started dating this new guy is because of how similar he was to the older guy.
What do I do? This has really been perplexing me.
-Lovesick
Dear Lovesick,
I think that you are still too young to get involved with anyone. Just be friends with all the boys and girls in your school. You will find that as you get older you will start to be able to compare one person to another and you will laugh at these boys. They will be maturing at the same time and be evaluating you and a lot more girls.
So my advice to you is don't tie yourself down to any of these boys. Keep them as friends and just enjoy them as friends. You have a lot of things to do in the next years -- go to college and grow up and have a lot of friends, not boyfriends.
Here today and gone tomorrow.
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