One year ago...
On July 6th of 2004 we received an advice-seeking letter from a woman who was having trouble with her mother-in-law. She wrote, "She rarely offers help... She doesn't seem to respect our choices and always tells us how she used to do things. I get upset just thinking about an upcoming visit with her." She asked our Bubby for advice on overcoming her frustration with her own daughter's grandma. Bubby was supportive and advised the new mom to "lay down some rules" with her mother-in-law.
One year later, here's an update!
I was very glad to receive your advice and I certainly applied it. For a while we seemed to have our conflicts under control. Although every now and then my mother-in-law does things I disapprove of (like giving the now one-year-old baby sweets), she respects me a lot more.
Now I am not afraid to speak out what I think. It's not the best of relationships yet. She loves showing up without notice and is rarely available when we need help. Reading my first letter, at least I realized I was a lot more shaken by her attitudes before than I am now. I guess I had lowered my expectations.
All the best to bubby and granddaughters,
Feet on the ground mom.
Well I am glad that your Mother-in-law is thinking in the right direction. I'm sure that you are too. You will find that as you go along, both of you being on the right track will work things out that will be best for both of you.
You don't have to be afraid to tell your mother-in-law if it is inconvenient for you or the baby if she just "drops in". Your baby might be napping or you are taking her for a walk or you have a Dr. appointment. Use your best apologetic voice and she will understand.
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