Help Me, Bubby!

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Friday, August 19, 2005

Dear Bubby,

I hope you are well. It must be a great blessing to have a grandmother like you.

Let me get to my problem. I am a senior in college and a very good, hardworking student. My boyfriend is a few months older than me. We have been dating for more than a year and we are very serious about each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together. He is caring, respectful, romantic, intelligent, and I feel very lucky to be loved by him.

The only concern I have is that he is not in school. He graduated from high school and went straight to work, no college. We have talked about school and he told me he never enjoyed high school because of the homework. He told me school work raised his blood pressure. He is very intelligent, and I think that he is missing out by not going to college. He does not like his job. He is tired of it but does not want to go to school.

How can I convince him that he is missing out on what college has to offer? I love him for who he is, school or not, but I don't like to see him so unhappy at work all the time.

My parents do not like the idea of me dating him. They think our educational levels are too different for it to work out. I do not see why it should be a problem. We are still able to talk to each other, although not so much about school or classes, and he respects my academic decisions.

Do you think it is important for two people in a relationship to share similar educational backgrounds? Or should I put it this way: Do you think a relationship can work out in the very long term if two people have very different levels of schooling?

Thank you in advance for your insight. I wish you and your granddaughters the very best!

Signed,
Educational Disparity

Dear Educational Disparity,

It was nice to have a boyfriend at school but out of school is an entirely new world and the time will come when you will feel superior to him. You will find that while you are pursuing a career he is hunting a job and without the education, he will never get ahead. What is he interested in?? Or is he just depending on his family for support and later on -- you. I think your parents are thinking of your happiness.

There are many people who don't stay in school because they are interested in something that is not being taught. Why doesn't he go to a technical school if he does not like the academics? He cannot get ahead without a job or business that will insure a future. My advise to you is don't see him for a while until he decides what he plans to do in the future. In the meantime go on with your career. You will see him in a different light. You are no longer a kid in school but a young lady looking forward --- with head held high.

Good luck and let me hear from you again.

♥, BUBBY

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