Help Me, Bubby!

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Friday, August 19, 2005
   
Dear Bubby,

I hope you are well. It must be a great blessing to have a grandmother like you.

Let me get to my problem. I am a senior in college and a very good, hardworking student. My boyfriend is a few months older than me. We have been dating for more than a year and we are very serious about each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together. He is caring, respectful, romantic, intelligent, and I feel very lucky to be loved by him.

The only concern I have is that he is not in school. He graduated from high school and went straight to work, no college. We have talked about school and he told me he never enjoyed high school because of the homework. He told me school work raised his blood pressure. He is very intelligent, and I think that he is missing out by not going to college. He does not like his job. He is tired of it but does not want to go to school.

How can I convince him that he is missing out on what college has to offer? I love him for who he is, school or not, but I don't like to see him so unhappy at work all the time.

My parents do not like the idea of me dating him. They think our educational levels are too different for it to work out. I do not see why it should be a problem. We are still able to talk to each other, although not so much about school or classes, and he respects my academic decisions.

Do you think it is important for two people in a relationship to share similar educational backgrounds? Or should I put it this way: Do you think a relationship can work out in the very long term if two people have very different levels of schooling?

Thank you in advance for your insight. I wish you and your granddaughters the very best!

Signed,
Educational Disparity



Dear Educational Disparity,

It was nice to have a boyfriend at school but out of school is an entirely new world and the time will come when you will feel superior to him. You will find that while you are pursuing a career he is hunting a job and without the education, he will never get ahead. What is he interested in?? Or is he just depending on his family for support and later on -- you. I think your parents are thinking of your happiness.

There are many people who don't stay in school because they are interested in something that is not being taught. Why doesn't he go to a technical school if he does not like the academics? He cannot get ahead without a job or business that will insure a future. My advise to you is don't see him for a while until he decides what he plans to do in the future. In the meantime go on with your career. You will see him in a different light. You are no longer a kid in school but a young lady looking forward --- with head held high.

Good luck and let me hear from you again.
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"Help Me, Bubby!" Disclaimer
By submitting a letter to this website, you grant Help Me, Bubby! permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications. Your letter will only include an anonymous signature that you provide or that we use to substitute for your real name. Your email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a letter will be responded to. Any information or advice given at Help Me, Bubby! is not intended to provide an alternative to professional medical treatment or to replace the advice or services of a physician or psychiatrist. Neither Bubby nor her granddaughters are professional therapists or medical experts. If you have any serious medical or mental problem, please consult a professional. Although all this advice is offered lovingly from the heart and in good spirit, we are not responsible in any way for your decision to accept or reject the advice or the results thereafter.

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Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.


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