In yesterday's letter from "Stuck", a young woman needed advice about feeling stuck in her family's business. She had her own life and a boyfriend waiting for her elsewhere, but couldn't resolve this commitment predicament with her own family. Bubby requested a few more details and did her best to offer some grandmotherly advice, such as talking more with her parents and letting go of the boyfriend. Today "Stuck" wrote back to us with an update and to set a few things straight.
Thanks for your response to my email. To answer your question, I am 25 years old. The boyfriend (he's 27) and I are now engaged (we will wait until he finishes school to get married). While he is also my friend, I could never just refer to him as such, he means too much to me. I am very happy that he is in med schhol and think he will be a wonderful doctor some day, that is not a problem. I just wish I could be closer to him right now.
I came home to help because my mom no longer wished to work in the industry that my step-dad's business is in and went back to school to get her real estate license. I encouraged my mom to do so because I knew how unhappy she was. I have already finished school and after a couple of years decided that I did not enjoy the field I chose, so I may go back one day.
The advice to sit down and speak to my parents is the problem. I have a huge guilt complex when it comes to them and they know it!! I do not know how to address the subject without tears and drama. I would just leave, but the 'allowance' as you refered to it is just barely paying my bills and I have asked for a raise twice with none given. I do not wish to offend my family and make things awkward between us, so I do not push.
I fear this may not be the simple post-teen problem you originally thought, but thank you for your advice.
Dear Still Stuck,
I can't imagine that there is a stone wall between you and your mother. There is no reason why you can't talk about your predicament in not having enough to pay your bills. Surely she could try to help. That is what Mothers do - help her daughters or sons. It seems to me that you are adrift. I'm sure if you would sit down and talk very seriously you can all come to a satisfactory conclusion.
Give it a try. Good Luck.
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