I am a really lonely guy in college. I have always had one true friend, whom I loved dearly and really cared for. Now she is happy with her boyfriend and wonderful family, which really makes me happy too. The problem is that I have never really had any real friends except for this girl, and she has now got her own interests. That doesn't upset me, in fact it makes me feel proud of her. But I am finding it difficult to find new friendships in college.
I really dearly miss my friend, and I can sometimes get quite upset, but it's not her fault. In fact, I couldn't be happier for her. She wasn't my girlfriend, just a casual friend. But seeing her happy makes me realize how lonely I am at college.
I wish I had someone to love, someone to care for and cherish. I have turned very shy because of the first impression I gave when I first arrived: a timid guy, someone who can't speak up for himself. I know I can, but I am so unsure about it. This doesn't help me when it comes to talking to girls, let alone trying to start a loving relationship.
It's also difficult because I am just 17 and I feel swamped by what adults say to me about young relationships. I know that if I found the right person I would treat her like a princess, love her, cherish her and care for her as much as I possibly could. But I can't find that special person, and I really would like to meet someone, to share my love with.
I really appreciate your help, thank you.
Dear Lost/Nice Guy,
It is good to be happy for your friend. You should tell her in person how happy you are and see what she says. And you go on from there. Ask her to introduce you to some of her friends. I am sure she would say OK. At the same time talk to your friends about how you feel and ask them to introduce you to some girls. You could become involved in some of the campus activities and you will meet lots of girls and you will lose your shyness.
You can do all this but at the expense of your studies. Your future depends on how you do now. Once you get out of college your shyness will be in the past. You will need all your energy to land a job in your field.
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