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Sunday, February 26, 2006
   
Dear Bubby,

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now. He is completely different from a "normal" guy. He is old-fashioned and still believes in chivalry. He is the sweetest guy, and he loves me with all of his heart.

But I have serious jealousy issues. I am very unsocial and he is very outgoing. He is nice to all people and I fear they will take it as flirting, because in my eyes it is. He is completely honest and told me all the things from his past. It tears me apart knowing he once liked other girls, that he could have once been attracted to other girls.

I am 16, and he is 17; almost 18. He will be going to college next year in our hometown. I know my problem will only grow out of control. Everyday we fight because I thought he might have looked at another girl or talked to another girl. I get upset when there are women on t.v.!

I know how crazy this all is, but my mind just keeps putting horrible and negative thoughts in my head. He reassures me that I have nothing to worry about and he would never be disloyal to me in anyway, but I know he also realizes how badly my jealousy issues are affecting our relationship.

Help me stop my controlling thoughts!

Thank you,
Old Soul



Dear Old Soul,

I think you should get control of your emotions before it is too late. I would suggest that you see a psychologist for help. Your boyfriend must be a gem to keep reassuring you that he cares a lot about you. If you don't believe him when he tells you he cares only for you, you may really benefit from professional help.

Don't delay.
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2 OPINIONS ADDED

Sometimes, you can find strength within yourself without requiring professional help. In your case, I think a little bit of self confidence could go a long way. If you thought about how great and unique and cool you really are, you wouldn't worry, or even care, so much about what other girls are around your boyfriend.

By Blogger sesame seed, at 2:14 PM  

I had the same problem.I was extremelly jealous and sometimes I lost my control over him.he has tried to convince me that I am the one he loves and I belive in my heart this fact.
I tried to manage my emotions of jealously because this kind of jealousy usually is based on our sense of belongingness and commitment to our partner.now when I start to get jealouse I think that I am the one for him because he is with me and loves me
and my thought are unreal.when you think of his ex-girl friends know that they were not good enough like you because he broke them up and has selected you as his partner.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:51 PM  

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Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
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Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

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Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

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