And now for something a little different...
Today Bubby's brother-in-law sent along this funny list of rules for a Jewish grandmother to live by. It's called, "Bubby's Talmud". So, nu, who needs a little laugh today?
- If you can't say something nice, say it in Yiddish.
- If it tastes good, it's probably not kosher.
- Some people leave and never say good-bye. Jews say good-bye and never leave.
- Israel is the land of milk and honey; Florida is the land of milk of magnesia.
- The High Holidays have absolutely nothing to do with marijuana.
- Always whisper the names of diseases.
- If you don't eat, it will kill me.
- Anything worth saying is worth repeating a thousand times.
- Never take a front-row seat at a bris.
- Prune danish is an acquired taste.
- Next year in Jerusalem. The year after that, how about a nice cruise?
- Never leave a restaurant empty-handed.
- Before you read the menu, read the prices.
- According to Jewish dietary law, pork and shellfish may be eaten only in Chinese restaurants.
- If you're going to whisper at the movies, make sure it's loud enough for everyone else to hear.
- No meal is complete without leftovers.
- If you have to ask the price, you can't afford it. But if you can afford it, make sure you tell everybody what you paid.
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