Four years ago I met the woman of my dreams. We seem to have so much in common and we love to be together. She has a smile in her heart. She buys flowers every week and knows how to laugh. I love the complex nature of her soul. In many moments I will feel the lightning bolt course through me and I realize how deeply I love her and how I can not live without her. I am so happy with her, playing tennis, golfing. I would trade a lifetime for one weekend with her; to walk with her and hold her hand. She makes me laugh, cry and smile. I want to just talk with her and to hear about her day.
However, I am married (over 20 years) and have two kids. One just left for college and one is in high school. My wife is wonderful, beautiful, warm, sweet, kind, loyal, helpful. I stayed in the marriage because of the kids. She loves me and I have not treated her fairly.
I have recently moved out and I am trying to figure out what to do. Do I pursue the chance of love with this other woman I've know now for four years, or do I go back and be a good husband and help my kids get through school? What do you think..?
My friends tell me I am nuts to take a chance on this other woman (who has already been married twice) but my heart tells me to take a chance on love. Loving someone and caring means risking it all. Love doesn't give you a choice, it takes your soul. It doesn't mean you are weak, it means you are in love!
What do I do???
Dear Distracted Husband,
I think that once you know this young woman in time you will look for another woman. You say nice things about your wife so she must be a very good wife and mother, so why break a home that seems to be going fine?
You are going through a midlife crisis and I am sure it will pass. Many husbands go through it. You will recover. This younger woman does not want an older man - I am sure she is looking for one closer to her age.
I would say to you -- think it over very carefully get this out of your system. Go back home and be a good husband and a good father.
This younger woman is not for you, believe me.
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