What You Said...
Lots of great comments are being added to yesterday's post from the 66-year-young woman looking for more adventure in her life.
I am a 13-year old girl and last year in school I was bullied. It wasn’t really bad -- mostly name-calling, ganging up on me and stuff like that. Then this girl I knew felt sorry for me and became my best friend. She is the best ever -- so kind and funny and cheers me up. We have been close mates ever since.
But I think it’s a bit different now. We are still best friends but sometimes she calls me insulting names and says that I'm fat and that she hates me. I know that she’s joking and all, but I take it a bit too seriously. If I ask her if she’s joking, she gets really, really annoyed. When we send each other text messages on our cell phone we always say, “lv ya xoxoxo”. If we are texting, but she’s annoyed, then she doesn’t say that.
One time after I came back from her house, I got really sick. I was so tired and I vomited all night. I didn’t wake up until the next day and I didn't go into school. I didn’t text her to tell her and she got annoyed. She texted me, saying, “Why were you not in school? I was a loner all day. Thanks a lot”. She didn’t even ask how I was.
I know this is a stupid problem and I know deep down that we are good mates and we trust each other. But when people call me names, even as a joke, it hurts. I feel like crying sometimes I’m so sad. I cannot fall out with her though. I like her too much and I haven’t ever done anything bad to upset her. I cannot tell her how I feel coz she gets annoyed when I do.
You have got to help me, Bubby.
Dear Sad Chick,
These little things that you find annoying are just natural among young friends and you should not let it bother you. Ask your mother if she thinks so too and ask her to help you out.
You should have a serious talk with this friend if you don't want to lose her. Both of you will clear the air and get back to the friendship that you shared. Talking things out always "clears the air".
Let me hear from you again.
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She sounds like a selfish horrible friend. No friend should make you think less of yourself, joking or not! True friends -ones that involve real trust- build you up and support you, not hurt you. You know... it's OK to be alone. I had to do that for a while...go without friends. I learned a lot, especially gained self-confidence which in turn helped me find more friends who really cared about me. Talk to your friend first and if she responds angrily then you might consider spending time apart for a while, but also consider the fact that she might have some issues from the past that make her act the way she does. Try to get to know her better, deeper, try to understand her. If she doesn't let you then move on because your happiness and confidence come first, otherwise you can't help people with what you don't have, and you can't live a normal good life.
By 12:55 AM, at
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