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I have been a reader of your blog for several years and really enjoy your advice. You have seen a lot, and you have had a life experience similar to mine, in the case of a long-distance relationships.
I am a freshman in college, majoring in journalism. I enjoy my university very much, and plan to stay there for the duration of my college years. My boyfriend and I have been together since high school, and once we are out of school, we plan to marry.
My senior year in high school, my boyfriend attended a college about 45 minutes away from our hometown, and he came home almost every weekend to see me. I felt very guilty that he spent so much time with me, because he made very few friends at school. I also felt guilty because my father did not permit me to drive to see my boyfriend at school, so my boyfriend was spending gas money and logging the miles.
He hated school and decided to take a semester off. He thought about what he wanted to do with his life and worked a full-time job while he thought about it. While he was taking his break from college, he would often visit me once I started college. He finally decided he would attend a local university and commute from home. We will now be an hour and a half apart.
What do you think is the best way to spend time nurturing our relationship without interfering with our studies? We talk daily already. We love each other very much and it is hard to be apart so much of the time. However, I know that our future is important as well, and it is important for both of us to get good grades.
Also, he is thinking about transferring to my school. What do you think the best living situation would be? We had discussed getting an apartment, but I worry that our families will think it is improper. However, we will be 21 and 20, all "grown up." Maybe we should just request dorm rooms near each other.
Sorry about the terribly question! What do you think would be the best choice for my situation? And please donÂt feel terribly pressured! I just think you are a very wise lady and think your input could be valuable.
Thank you so much, Bubby!
--A Long-Distance Love
Dear A Long-Distance Love,
I think that the best that the two of you can do it concentrate on your school work so that you will get good grades that will look good on your records when you graduate. At that time you will be more mature and will have met other young people. You may change your mind about this young man or he may change his mind. Don't tie yourself down to him alone. Wait and see what both of you will do at the time you are a little older. Your feelings may change by then so be free to decide.
Also I think your father is right when he feels the way he does. Listen to him - he means only he best for you.
Just be a friend to this young man for now.
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