Dear Bubby,
I'm fourteen years old and in the eighth grade. I'm in band, have many wonderful friends, get great grades, and live a wonderful life.
I had a pretty big crush on this boy. He was in many of my classes, rode my school bus, was my very close neighbor, and friend. I think he liked me back too. This was the high point in my tale.
This boy was in sports. One day at a game, there was an accident and he got a concussion. When he didn't show up at school for over two weeks, I got worried. I went to his house to see how he was. I rang the doorbell, and when he came to answer it, he didn't recognize me. He looked at me in a strange way and said, "Who are you?"
This really frightened me. I told him my name, asked if he remembered anything about me, or school. He said that, yes, he remembered his family and a few of his very close friends. But nothing else. I talked to his mother, who told me that he was suffering from huge, irreversible memory loss. At school, he didn't remember his classes, most of his friends, his teachers, etc. He did remember information that he'd learned at school, basic life skills, English, but not people, places, or "classroom rituals."
He'd forgotten me, and I was heartbroken. It was as if I'd lost a piece of me. What made me feel worse was that now that people began taking advantage of the situation. I heard some of the meanest things possible being said to him. People were asking him if he remembered who his girlfriend was (he didn't have one). Then he dropped out of our school.
I have the power to tell him that people were lying to him. Should I? Or should I just let it go? I'd really appreciate some insight on this.
Sincerely,
"Should I, should I not?"
Dear "Should I, should I not?",
I think the best thing you can do is check on this boy from time to time. His mother can tell you how he is improving in regaining his memory. I am sure he must be going through medical care or rehab care and it will take time.
I would recommend you don't make a pest of yourself. Leave him to his professional care and hope that he will eventually regain his memory.
My best to the boy and to you.
1 OPINIONS ADDED
Dear "Should I, should I not?",
I'm sure that his family and this boy are going through a very stressful time right now. If you are sincere in your friendship with this boy it might be nice to drop by and tell him and his parents (since he may not remember later) that you'd be willing to be his friend when he is ready.
Memory loss is a very complicated thing; it may be that he only forgot things before his accident, or maybe he can't lay down new memories *and* lost his long term memory, or maybe he forgets things for a while, and then remembers them later on (it's possible!) So if you do decide to be his friend, be aware that it could be very difficult to have to 're-meet' him every time you see him, but I'm sure his parents and him especially would appreciate a kind face from his old school when he's ready for it.
If you hear kids making fun of him or making rude comments to him and if it bothers you, stand up for your friend, explain to them that their behavior is mean, hurtful, and selfish, and how would you like it if it was THEM?
By 8:33 PM
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