Help Me, Bubby!

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Bubby Irma's Kitchen

Yiddish Your Bubbe Never Taught You

Poetry by Jewish Grandaughters

Bubbe & Gram

Bubbe's Kitchen

My Bubbe's Arms

Bubbie & Zeide's Favorite Language

Bennett and His Bubbe's Beau

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Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Dear Bubby,

I've been dating a girl for the last six years. We met freshman year of college, and things have always gone well between us. Our senior year of college we often spoke about spending the rest of our lives together, and when we graduated we decided we would try to make things work between us.

Then she moved to another city for law school and I moved away for a job. Although it has been rough, we managed. I truly feel that she could be the one for me.

Now that she is graduating from law school, we were planning on moving in together. I decided to take our relationship to the next level. I went out and bought a ring and proposed to her.

However, she said she couldn't marry me... because of the ring. She said it was too small, and if that's all she was worth to me, then she didn't want to be with me.

I don't understand it - what does a ring matter? I could afford a larger ring, but I don't see the point. I love her and she loves me, but I can't believe she is going to let this determine the outcome of our relationship.

Have you ever heard of anything like this happening before - any suggestions?

--Diamond Man

Dear Diamond Man,

I can understand how your girl feels. Every girl would like a big ring to show off to her friends and a little diamond will not fill the bill.

If I were you, and you said you could afford a larger ring, and you both love each other, so why don't you exchange the ring?

I know of many young couples who shopped together for the ring and then they come to an understanding about the size. Being in the store and viewing the expense may make your girl see things different. You may find that you will get a little bigger ring and then again you and she will decided to keep the one you bought.

When you talk about the expense of making a home for the two of you and the expense of a wedding, she may feel very different about the size of the ring. I might also add that you can view the ring as an investment. Diamonds increase in value all the time.

If this is the only problem you have, discuss it a little further with your girl. There will be many problems in the future after you are married so start with this little one and good luck.
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Run away ... that is a horribly shallow reaction and if she truly loves you she would have said yes no matter what. I don't agree with Bubby, I think you should call her on her shallowness. Good luck and remember, there are plenty of women out there who would marry you for the person you are and not the size of the rock you offer.

By Blogger Bananahead, at 12:17 PM  

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Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.

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