Help Me, Bubby!

Other Bubby Books at Amazon:

Bubby Irma's Kitchen

Yiddish Your Bubbe Never Taught You

Poetry by Jewish Grandaughters

Bubbe & Gram

Bubbe's Kitchen

My Bubbe's Arms

Bubbie & Zeide's Favorite Language

Bennett and His Bubbe's Beau

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Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Dear Bubby,

Me and my fiance have been together for about 2 and a half years now. He's a great guy. Good. Kind. Fun. A good potential husband and father. But something just doesn't feel right. I feel we're not right for each other. When I think about it, he's not really my "type" per say. He gets me expensive gifts but I've never cared for those things. I've always been the down-to-earth type of girl who ridicules girls that always just care about their looks and what label's on their bag.

When I put effort in anniversaries and our wedding to make it more "meaningful" rather than "valuable" he just doesn't get it. His materialism keeps him blocked and it's so much easier for him to just get me something expensive rather than put the effort into being romantic or making every moment special.

I've been having so many doubts and I don't know what to do. I'm depressed half the time, which really doesn't make sense because I'm always such a cheery person. People have always known me to be positive, and I don't like the negative effect this relationship is having on me.

What should I do?
--Ms. Meaningful

Dear Ms. Meaningful,

It seems to me that you must tell this young man about all the things the other girls get and subconsciously let him know what you would like so he buys the same things for you.

At the same time, you are not so sure about your feelings for him. Why don't you stop seeing him for a while, meet other young men and evaluate him. Then again, he may really enjoy giving you the expensive gifts to show he cares for you.

Have a heart to heart talk with him and really get to know him. You may change your mind about your feelings.

You are not ready for this relationship.
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The gifts he gives you might just be the way he shows his love. Everybody has their own way. But people also have their own way of receiving love. If those things don't make you feel loved then try to compromise, or...move on. I suggest moving on because even if he is a good person he affects you indirectly in a way that is not good...depression. You won't suddenly become happy when you are married so do things that make you happy.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:32 AM  

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Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.

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Denim diagnosis
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Halloween ideas
I smell him from here
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How to meet a man
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Political predictions
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Tastes like chicken

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New York Times: Letter to the Editor (6.11.04)
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Interview for Akron, Ohio newspaper (aug.'04)
Golden Web Page Award (dec.'04)
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