Please settle an argument.
A distant relative of my wife's is getting married and they sent us an invitation. We are not attending this cross-country event but my wife feels we should send a gift. I don't think we should because we never talk to this distant relative (not since they were kids) and we didn't send our wedding invitation to them. They didn't even know where we live. They got our address from my in-laws.
I feel they are sending out as many invitations as possible to receive as many gifts as possible. Should we send a gift to this relative we barely know and probably will never see again?
Dear Unwanted Invite,
I can understand that and I can sympathize with you. But every invitation requires an answer in one kind or another. And this is an invitation to a wedding. So you should send something.
I think that it might be a good idea if you sent some little thing that could be used in the kitchen, or maybe an ashtray, although nobody smokes anymore. Some little thing that is inexpensive but is a nice way of saying, thanks for inviting us.
And it's true, people who are getting married do scrape the bottom of the barrel to invite people, whether you are coming or not. If you are coming, they are very happy to see you.
We once had a comedy record we would listen to called, "Levinsky At The Wedding". There was a joke that went like this: "Your presence is not required, but please send a present."
[Granddaughter's Note: Click here to listen to the actual Levinsky joke that Bubby is referencing]
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Weddings, showers, etc. are turning into blatant begging occasions. I think the wish is often that you will respond with a nice gift but not show. You are right! The person should send something. A note of regrets that they are unable to travel that far. No gift is necessary unless the invitees are planning to attend. You blew this one.
By 12:19 AM, at
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