Help Me, Bubby!

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Wednesday, July 5, 2006
   
Dear Bubby,

I was supposed to be married in May of this year. In the months leading up to the wedding my fiancé seemed quiet and withdrawn. He finally told me that he didn’t know if he wanted to get married and he broke off our engagement and ended the relationship in April.

This is the second time this has happened with him. We were originally supposed to get married in 2005, but he called it off then too. We had no contact for 6 months, until he came back saying he had made a mistake and asked me to marry him again. After a few happy months together I could sense that he was beginning to feel differently again, and then he broke up with me.

I call him occasionally, but he rarely calls me. I’ve told him that I still love him and would very much like to try to make the relationship work. I’ve never really understood what caused him to break things off. When we do talk he is distant and tells me that he doesn't know if he wants to try again, but he does say that he still loves me. I have asked whether he sees us together in the future and he says he doesn’t know.

My question, Bubby, is what should I do? Logic tells me that I should break off all contact, but I just miss him so much. I have cried so much over this. Should I give up trying to keep friendly contact with him in the hope that he comes back? If I do this, how can I get over him?

I am 29 years old and I really thought that he was "the one" – please help me, Bubby.

With thanks,
Heart-broken all over again.



Dear Heart-Broken,

I am sorry that you waited so long for this immature fellow to break your heart. But now that he did I recommend you forget him and if he calls just tell him the party is over.

At 29 it is time to get on with your life and be well rid of this person. There are many fish in the sea and I am sure there is one who is looking for you.

It's a shame that this person wasted so much of your time and you let him. Close this chapter and get along with your life and say good riddance. Life with this person will never happen.

I wish you all the happiness in the world.

1 OPINIONS ADDED

Bubby's quite right. If he breaks it off once, and comes back, and all's well, fine. We all make mistakes, and we all have doubts. If he breaks it off twice?! Run, and never look back.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:47 AM  

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Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.


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