Dear Bubby,
My husband comes from a large family. I tried for 10 years to fit in with them, but my feelings have been hurt so many times.
For example, at Christmas time, my boys (ages 21 and 17) have never gotten a present from their Godparents.
My husband has 11 siblings and they always forget to invite us to their BBQ's. When we go to the club house they will take all the kids on boat rides but not my children. They say they are too tired or out of gas. The list goes on and on. TMy husband can ignore it but I just can't seem to forget it.
Just yesterday, the whole family went to a baseball game. We were asked to join them, but they only gave us 5 minutes notice to decide and we didn't have our calendar with us.
For years I thought that I was such a terrible person. I spent years trying to fit in with my husband's family and never went out looking for other friends. But I have gotten some new friends, and they insist that I am a fun and good person, but I don't fit in with my husband's family clique and it has nothing to do with me.
Sorry for such a long letter but this hurts. Am I such a bad person for not wanting to go out with my husband's family again?
I also forgot to mention that my husband has been activated through the army reserve for 3 years. He comes in for a visit every 2 months.
Help please,
Uncliqued Mom
Dear Uncliqued Mom,
I can understand how you feel about your in-laws but forget it. Your husband loves you and you have a happy life together - that is all that matters.
You can't like or love everyone so just be civil and friendly. You can't let such things worry you. You have a life to live so live it.
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