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From The Archives: July 28, 2004


Dear Bubby,

I have a really big problem. When I was in tenth grade, my boyfriend said that our relationship could not work. Now we're at the same college and he wants to get back together again. I love him with all my heart, but I'm afraid he might say we have to break-up again, and I don't want my heart broken twice.

Now I know you can't give advice that easily on things like this, so I will describe "Will" to you. He's Jewish, (not that I care, I just know you are, and I am too) smart, loyal, funny, cute, and an all around nice guy. So you are probably wondering why I wouldn't want him. It's not that I don't want him, I love him!! It's just that, as I said before, I don't want my heart broken again.

Now I know this will be really hard to answer, but all I want is your opinion. Like, what *you* would do in this situation? I might or might not take your advice. Thank you!

By the way, he didn't go for another girl when we were apart. I know that for a fact. He said he dumped me because he was being a "jack-ass", as he put it.

From, Clara


Dear Clara,

I agree with "Will". I think he is right when he calls himself a "Jackass". He probably checked out all the "chicks" that are on campus and could not find any one to suit him so he must figure you are there so until someone else comes along you will do.

If I were you I would tell him that at the moment you are not interested and play a little hard to get. See how he reacts. Why should you be hurt a second time? And besides, you might just meet another young man that will appeal to you more. Since you are just in your sophomore year in college you have plenty of time. By the time you are a senior, you will have better values and will have many more very nice "guys".

Don't let this young man think that all he has to do is crook his little finger and all will be forgiven. He hurt you too much -- not again.

Good hunting.

♥, BUBBY

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3 OPINIONS ADDED

3 OPINIONS ADDED

Hi Bubby. On this one I do disagree with you. I think that considering these are two adults now (guessing at least 18 or 19 years of age) they should be past or at least learning to get past mind games.

I would suggest she tell him exactly how she feels, and let him know that if he wants her back, he'd better be working a lot harder to convince her to take him back. Playing hard to get is okay, but there needs to be a clear ending to the game and both players need to be aware of what it is.

Just my two cents.

By  Debs - debslosingit.com, at 7:08 AM  

i dont know much but i do know it depends on the guy..she says she loves him...i think she should find out the real reason. . maybe have what we out here call open dating or seperation stage which is where you are with the one guy..but at same time you may go out with other guys and see kinda like checkin out the field so to speak...but u gotta be carful u gotta set ground rules and things o yeah and the other guy has to know about ''will''. its only fair other wise u just a player and seriously who wants that just sayin..well thats all i gotta say im probly wrong but who knows

By  Anonymous, at 9:53 PM  

It sounds to me like the guy just needed a little time to grow up. And so what if he dated other girls? That's what you're supposed to do at this age! How else are you going to know what's right for you if you have nothing to compare it with? So he went out in the world and looked around. He was too young to make a committment. And now he appreciates you even more. What's wrong with that?
JOY

By  Anonymous, at 4:14 PM  

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