Bubby's not feeling 100%, so she's taking a little break from advice-offering. But she still loves hearing about all the letters you have been writing to her, and knowing that you continue to come visit her blog. We wish we could publish every one of your questions!
Maybe now would be a good time for you to help her out. If you have previously sent Bubby a letter that she responded to with grandmotherly advice, please send us a new update on your story. It always makes her smile when she hears how your lives continue on. We'll post them on the blog!
All the best,
He is a very good programmer and has financial security. His social status is good. He is mature and treats me fine and we love each other very much.
The problem is he never thinks about getting married and always he is thinking about his career and making progress more and more. This hurts me because I think although our relationship is good it may endures for the short run.
On the other hand, I think I am getting an old maid gradually and I haven't got married yet. I avoid asking my boyfriend for getting married and I'm not able to do so because I am shy and can't express my expectations so he has never thought I would like to be his wife. If he known my expectations, he would break up with me and I would get devastated. :(
What should I do for this dilemma? I will be appreciated for your help.
An upset girl
Dear Upset Girl,
Since you have already diagnosed his personality, the best thing you can do is be a good friend with him and let the relationship grow at its own rate. Many relationships grow into a deep love. Don't push it. If you push it, it will be over.
Young men are fragile. Be smart, and you will win.
Okay, I must be certifiable, but I need help. I will be thirteen in a month or so, but that isn't my problem.
My problem is that I truly love my best friend. It isn't "puppy love" and it DEFINITELY isn't just a crush. We've known each other for six years, half my life. I know everything about him, and he knows everything about me. We were as close as it can get.
But see, I did this stupid thing. I told him. At the start of the summer. And we basically haven't seen each other since. We don't talk, we don't see each other, nothing.
He had the opportunity to tell me how he feels about me (and I'm almost sure he at least partly feels the same way) but he didn't take it. I don't know if he just wishes to go back to being friends, or if he actually would want a relationship with me.
Since I haven't seen, heard, or anything about him, I'm guessing that he just doesn't love me back. I ruined one of the best friendships I had and will ever have. Where my happy loving heart once was, there's just a dull clenching pain. I've only told a few choice people about this, so I have no idea why I am telling this to an utter stranger and the rest of the planet.
I know I need to move on, but I just can't. What can I do to fix this broken heart of mine?
Confused, broken hearted girl
Dear Confused, broken hearted girl,
There are some things you just don't tell and it's sure to make him run in a different direction. He doesn't want to be tied down to just one friendship.
If I were you I would try to say, "Hi, how are you?" and keep going and let him catch up to you and start a connection.
If he continues to go on his way, then you can be sure the friendship is over. You can find new friends and leave this one for the books. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Your heart isn't broken, it's just scratched a little.
There's a lot more there, and through the years you'll prove it. You will meet a lot of boys by the time you are grown and then you can judge who is really your friend. And when you find him, keep him. And have a beautiful friendship. And that friendship will come back to you.
We were so happy to receive a letter today from a nice woman in Brazil who was able to contact the journalist who wrote about Bubby in "O Globo" - Brazil's Newspaper. Here's what she told us:
Hello! How are you? I love your blog. It's wonderful! Congratulations. I asked Sérgio Maggi, the journalist who wrote the story, and he sent to me. I hope you enjoy!
The text, and the translation:
CONSELHOS DE VÓ: Bubby pode ser a mais velha blogueira do mundo. Ela começou a escrever na internet aos 87 anos (hoje está com 90). As responsáveis pela estréia da velha senhora no mundo dos blogs foram suas netas. Elas achavam que os conselhos da sua avó eram bons demais e deviam ser compartilhados com mais gente. E assim, Bubby passou a dar conselhos via blog.
GRANDMOTHER'S ADVICES: Bubby may be the oldest blogger in the world. She started to write in the internet at 87 years old (today she is 90). The responsible ones for her beggining in the blog's world were her granddaughters. They really believe her grandmother's advices were so good they should be shared with more people. And now, Bubby is helping others through her blog.
"Help Me, Bubby!" Disclaimer
By submitting a letter to this website, you grant Help Me, Bubby! permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications. Your letter will only include an anonymous signature that you provide or that we use to substitute for your real name. Your email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a letter will be responded to. Any information or advice given at Help Me, Bubby! is not intended to provide an alternative to professional medical treatment or to replace the advice or services of a physician or psychiatrist. Neither Bubby nor her granddaughters are professional therapists or medical experts. If you have any serious medical or mental problem, please consult a professional. Although all this advice is offered lovingly from the heart and in good spirit, we are not responsible in any way for your decision to accept or reject the advice or the results thereafter.