Help Me, Bubby!

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Bubby Irma's Kitchen
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Poetry by Jewish Grandaughters
Newman

Bubbe & Gram
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Bubbe's Kitchen
Waxman

My Bubbe's Arms
Reudor

Bubbie & Zeide's Favorite Language
Solomon

Bennett and His Bubbe's Beau
Feigenbaum

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Friday, April 1, 2005
   
You're not Alone
Sometimes we get great letters from readers who have more advice to add on to what Bubby has suggested. Today's post is just that...



Hi Bubby, thanks for being so much fun to read!

I was noticing the letter from Feb. 12 about the boy who is always fighting with his mom, "Feeling Desperate". When my sister was in middle school she did the same thing to my mom. She would come home from school and immediately start picking on her, yelling at her, calling her names, and trying to engage her in a fight. Their fights would sometimes last into the night. My mother was a wreck over this horrible treatment.

Finally in desperation my mom brought my sister to the therapist that she had been seeing. The therapist asked my sister point-blank why she was treating my mom this way, what was going on that made her feel like she had to act this way. My sister thought about it and said, "Things are hard at school. I don't always get the material and the teachers seem to like to make me feel stupid. Then the other kids pick on me, or talk about me behind my back. But I have to pretend like none of it bothers me, and not cry, or I'll look like a nerd. It all makes me so mad. So I come home and that's the only time I can let the anger out."

It made so much sense to my mom, yet it was a big surprise. She was able to stop taking my sister's bad behavior personally and look logically at how to make things better for my sister. Years later she still talks about this situation as one where it could have gotten better sooner if only she had been able to see what was really the problem.

I am not saying that the son of this single mum in the letter is having trouble at school, just that the problem may not be what it seems, and she should not give up looking for ways to help her son.

Thanks,
"Been There"



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By submitting a letter to this website, you grant Help Me, Bubby! permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications. Your letter will only include an anonymous signature that you provide or that we use to substitute for your real name. Your email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a letter will be responded to. Any information or advice given at Help Me, Bubby! is not intended to provide an alternative to professional medical treatment or to replace the advice or services of a physician or psychiatrist. Neither Bubby nor her granddaughters are professional therapists or medical experts. If you have any serious medical or mental problem, please consult a professional. Although all this advice is offered lovingly from the heart and in good spirit, we are not responsible in any way for your decision to accept or reject the advice or the results thereafter.

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Bubby is our 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93 94 year old grandmother.
A few years ago we introduced her to the internet and we've been getting daily e-mails from her ever since. When she was 87, we began this website. We now believe she is the oldest blogger on the Internet.

Whether Bubby is reminding us that boyfriends do not substitute for warm jackets in the winter, or that it's better to receive a compliment than a brick, she always has something to say to her granddaughters.

Now with this new website, Bubby can finally share her wisdom with the rest of the world. And she's excited about it! (Which confuses us, because she used to say we were all she needed.)

Hopefully this will be as much fun for new readers as it will surely be for her. And if not, well, as Bubby says, it will all come out in the wash.

So, are you looking for advice on food, work, a broken heart, or the perfect bat mitzvah present?

But no dirty words allowed or you'll only get one matzah ball.


Bald and oblivious
Denim diagnosis
Girls are weird
Halloween ideas
I smell him from here
I'm gonna marry you
How to meet a man
Nerds go far
Political predictions
Sloppy spouse
Tastes like chicken



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4-star Review from The Weblog Review (1.5.04)
Voted "Blog Of The Day" by The Blog Hunter
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Featured in the Tampa Tribune online
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Bubby's first radio interview - 96.5 WOXL (5.4.04)
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End Of The World
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The Other Woman
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