We're going way, way... way back for this update.
On July 13th (2004!) - we posted a letter from a 20-year old woman named, Bewildered Friend. At the time she wrote, she was in college and having trouble keeping in touch with her best friend who was still living in their hometown. Then one day she got an email from her friend, announcing she had gotten married. At first Bewildered was hurt not to be invited, but then she got a second email a few weeks later announcing that her friend was pregnant. She wrote to Bubby, "Now I'm just worried about my friend. She dropped out of school to support her new husband, who she's known 8 months." Could Bubby offer a few words to make her feel better?
Well, Bubby certainly could. Point blank, she told Bewildered, "Well, we know what is wrong with her and that is why you were not invited to her wedding." And then she offered an adage that her own mother had given her: "The baby came on time but the wedding was a little late."
Bubby went on to advise that she should not treat her friend as an outcast. She assured her that the young couple could learn to set up housekeeping, and care for their new little baby. She still had a chance to finish college, if she could get the help from her own mother.
Bubby concluded optimistically, "She is adrift now but it's not the end of the world. Cheer her up and ask her to keep in touch with you."
So what's the update? Well, as we were going through our inbox (filled with hundreds and hundreds of letter) we came across Bewildered's update (which we admit she sent last summer). We knew we had to share. So... is Bewildered's best friend still adrift, or has she found her way home?
I don't have an exciting follow-up at all. It's sort of sad and anti-climactic. A few weeks after I wrote, my friend emailed me again to tell me that she'd lost her baby.
We exchanged a few more emails and I think she was handling it okay--of course she was upset, but I think she was working through it. I haven't heard from her since then.
She quit the job and I don't know her new address. I've asked my mother to talk to her mother (since they're friends) about getting me contact information, but I haven't found anything. I've even scoured the internet, but she was never very computer-savvy, so I wasn't surprised when I didn't find any activity from her.
I miss her a lot, and I wish I knew how she is doing, if she's okay, and if her husband is treating her well.
Still a Bit Bewildered
If any of our readers knows what it feels like to miss a close friend, please post your thoughts to Bewildered in the "opinion" space below.
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2 OPINIONS ADDED
Hi, please update your site
By 1:53 PM, at
Many years have passed since my best friend and I had a misunderstanding and one word led to another. Both stubborn people allowed the friendship to die. I made one attempt to reconcile but it was rebuffed. I'm writing to say that if this happens to you, step back, cool off and make the effort to keep the friendship intact. To this day I miss the laughter and sharing and would love to have that contact again. No I don't think it can be resolved due to some recent feedback I heard.
By 2:26 PM, at
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