My husband is 58 and I am 57. He is retired from his job and stays home. I still go to work as a school secretary. I like my job, hate the commute. Our daughter, who is 30 and single, has a 2 year old little girl, who we adore. My husband babysits 2 days a week and a babysitter comes in 3 other days. My husband and I want to sell our house and move to a retirement village in Florida so that we can spend our days in the sun, enjoying the rest of our life.
Problem: My daughter and her baby cannot afford to live on their own and she states that she HATES Florida and will go to a shelter before moving to Fla. Also, my mother in law lives 3 houses away, is not well physically and would be horrified if we moved. She is also very attached to the baby.
My daughter does not give us any money towards the house, it is very expensive to live here and we want life to be easier for us. What ever we do it seems someone will get hurt. I am not even sure if I want to go. My mom and my siblings live 40 minutes away and i would miss them a lot. STILL....it would be so much easier financially.
Thank you for your time,
Dear Moving Mom,
Well, beggars cannot be choosers.
Imagine that entitlement!
You should do whatever you can afford. Take your mother-in-law to Florida. If your daughter doesn't want to come to Florida so that you can continue to help her, let her get on with her life elsewhere. Let her find out on her own, how hard it is to live on your own.
Meanwhile, you deserve your day in the sun. You certainly worked hard for it all your life.
We all love a good reader update story. And today we have a new one for you...
On May 7th, 2006 , Bubby received a touching letter from a man who had just lost his wife a few months earlier. It was a heart-breaking letter about love and loss and faith. Bubby knows all about that sort of thing, and was eager to respond.
To paraphrase, he asked her, "...if God doesn't make mistakes, and if He has a plan for each of us, and if that plan is good, why [is my family] here eating a huge crap sandwich?" Because he had two children to continue raising, he needed to know how to pick himself up again.
Bubby, of course, had a lot to say. First she emphasized, "I know just how you feel because I have been in the same boat. For some time I could do nothing but feel sorry for myself." And then she advised, "Remember the wound heals but the scars remain and life goes on. I know I'm here and you will be too. Be a good loving father. Have courage and smile."
Two comments were also left in that post by readers. One anonymous person wrote in, "be patient and believe that future will bring joy and happiness for you and your children." And another nicely added, "... Life doesn't end after this....and neither do families. Families are forever. Let that be the lighthouse shining through the fog."
Well, we were oh so happy to find a myspace update from our reader this week with an update on his life and the children. With permission, we just wanted to let you all know how things are:
Hi. About 2 years ago, I remember asking you why God took my wife and left me and my kids alone. Well, now we are doing OK, and involved in new adventures. It is still sad, but bearable, and of course we still miss her. But life goes on, and I think the future will be OK too.
We hope this inspires others. Feel free to leave your comments below.
Until next time...
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